1
DANI
“Theyknow.” Piper rushes over to me.
“They can’t,” I wail then clap a hand over my mouth as a few of my desk neighbors look up, annoyed.
“You have to find a boyfriend. Today,” my cousin hisses.
I make a helpless gesture.
“We literally work in a high-end investment firm. There are lots of rich guys here who are mildly good-looking—just pick one, Dani.”
“I can’t.”
Piper grabs me. “You haven’t been working that hard at it.”
“I’m busy. I have all these projects.”
“You’re going to get crucified when you show up alone to the party on Tuesday.”
I’m hyperventilating. Silently.
My desk neighbor puts on noise-canceling headphones.
Curse open offices.
I duck down behind the pothos plant in its white IKEA pot to whisper to my cousin. “I need another plan. I didn’t find a guy online.”
“Yeah, no shit,” Piper hisses. “You’re not going to find a tall, hot, rich guy on a free dating app.”
“I got a subscription to the Meat Market app.”
I pull my phone from my pocket, sending my chunky Frenchie grumbling.
Piper slaps the phone down.
“I don’t need to see what losers are sending you dick pics. We’re down to the wire. We’re going to have to hire someone. Someone from out of state.”
“I can’t!”
“You live at home with your parents, and you’re an investment analyst at Svensson Investment. You can afford to hire an actor.”
“I’m trying to save up for a down payment.”
“You’ve been saying that for years. You’re stuck in a rut.”
“It’s a comfy rut.”
“It’s pathetic.” She puts her hands on my shoulders and takes a deep breath. “I say this with love, but lying about having a rich boyfriend was a cry for help. Your soul is yearning for change.” Piper’s voice raises.
My fellow analysts glare at the interruption.
Piper drags me out to the windy deck off the break room, which overlooks a chilly, dark Manhattan skyline.
“Why did I say anything?” I fret.
“Because those girls treat you like shit, always have, and you have low self-esteem, and you wanted to finally earn their respect—not with any of your own accomplishments, of course, but with a man, because everyone knows a woman ain’t nothing without a high-value man,” Piper fumes.
