Page 117 of The Art of Almost Losing It

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Dani would have liked it. She wants to be my wife.

“No. No, no.” I shake my head. “She wants fucking Kraig.”

Since the day I met him, my stepbrother always resented me. He’d complain any time I got a new hockey stick, or shit, even new shoes because mine were too small. He resented that we had to share a room even though he was only over at Frank’s house every other weekend.

Those weekends were miserable. I’ll never like Friday nights.

Now Dani wants to sleep with him.

Over my dead body.

“Or Kraig’s,” I whisper in the dark.

Dani’s mine. I want to keep her with me forever—like a little doll, pristine in a glass case.

“No. We’re not trapping Dani anywhere.”

I am better than my father.

It’s Kraig. He needs to go.

I wonder if I can convince the Svenssons to fire him…

“G-man!”Spencer calls when I walk into the private dining room of the restaurant on Tuesday.

Grayson’s not there yet.

“You’re friends with the Svenssons, right?” I ask Spencer.

“‘Friends’ is a strong word.”

“You know my stepbrother? Frank’s son? I need you to convince Greg to fire him.”

“Yeah, we’re not friends like that.” Spencer shakes his head.

“Kraig’s not like an actual employee,” I argue. “He’s just a security guard. What would Greg want? I can probably swing something.”

“Um, Greg wants world domination and to take over Asia’s cobalt production. So good luck.” Spencer rolls his eyes. “Why are you trying to get your stepbrother fired, anyway?”

“He’s after Dani,” I tell him.

“You sure?” Finn asks, sitting down on the other side of me. “That’s like zero competition. Why are you even stressing?”

“He’s losing his marbles.” Spencer pats the top of my head.

“No. Dani said she wants to, you know… make pasta with him.” I gesture with my hands.

Spencer looks concerned.

“I’m not crazy,” I hiss at him over the table.

“Why are you whispering?” Aaron demands from behind me.

“Graham is obsessing that his fake girlfriend is into Kraig,” Finn explains as Aaron sits catty-corner from me.

“Which is highly unreasonable because your stepbrother is losing his hair.” Spencer sighs.

“You should encourage her infatuation with him,” Aaron reminds me. “This is a fortuitous development. Then she’ll move on with him. She’ll agree to take the money and the condo you offered her, because let’s be honest, your stepbrother is not going to be able to keep her in the lifestyle to which she has grown accustomed. Then you’re free of her forever.”