Chapter One
“Old and dull.”
“Stiff as a board.”
“She’s the backup plan”.
“We planned for this.”
Clarissa sat in her sewing room and stared at the start of Lorenzo’s present she had not touched since the night of that fateful party.She got to learn how he really felt about her, and it had been an eye-opening experience.
She knew her husband wouldn’t have any feelings for her.They were not meant to marry.Life had a horrible way of crapping on everything.Her beautiful, smart, loving, amazing sister was supposed to marry Lorenzo Vitale.Not her.But that had gone horribly wrong.
“You can’t die.Don’t die.”
“I love you, Mouse.You got this.It’s on you now to make the family proud.”
Clarissa kept looking at the suit.
Her sister had been blonde, beautiful, slender.Everything came natural to her.She was only fifteen, but Clarissa saw what a light she was.For ten years, Clarissa was the mistake, the daughter their parents wished they didn’t have.She put her hands on her knees and turned to look at her sewing machine.
“No one wants me, Grandma.”
“Hush, child, you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m not pretty enough.I’m not good enough.”
She reached up and touched her face as the memory of her grandmother cupping her face came back into her mind.It had been so long ago, but it felt as if it was right now.
“You’re a beautiful girl, Clarissa.Do not compare yourself to your sister.You have so much to offer.”
What did she have to offer, really?Her husband found her boring and dull.
Getting to her feet, she stepped out of the room and made her way down the small corridor, but she didn’t go to the kitchen.Instead, she went outside, into the cold autumnal air.
Halloween was once again fast approaching.It had been a year since all of this had happened.She couldn’t quite believe a year had passed since she overheard her husband’s true thoughts about her.There was no way it could be lies, could it?
Although, her three friends went through similar experiences.Liana was called a doormat.Mia was childish.Tatiana’s husband had a mistress because she was boring in bed.As for herself, she was boring, dull, and stiff in the bedroom.
She wrapped her arms around herself and stared out into the night sky, hoping for anything.A sign.Some peace.This pain was too much for her to bear.Liana and Mia had been able to move on and forgive their husbands.According to both her friends, the men had lied.Clarissa didn’t believe Lorenzo had lied.She believed he’d been telling the truth.
There was nowhere for her to go.Her parents claimed they would be there for her, but the truth was, this marriage was nothing more than a business deal.It had been agreed between her and Lorenzo’s family when her sister was fifteen years old.In fact, the night before she died, this engagement had begun.Clarissa had been ten.And he had to wait ten years for her to be of age for this marriage to take place.A business deal.
She took a deep breath, aware of the guards that were always ordered to give her space and keep patrolling the grounds.There had been an attack within the past year, but Lorenzo had saved them both.
She looked up to the sky.She missed her grandparents.They were the only ones who understood her.Clarissa held her dying sister in her arms, trying to stop the blood, but it had soaked through her hands.For a long time, she couldn’t speak, could barely move.She remembered her father wanted to have her committed, and if it weren’t for her grandparents, he would have done so.
Sewing and other crafts distracted her.She no longer went out to school but was homeschooled.For six years after her sister’s death, she lived with her grandparents.The only reason she went back to her parents was because her grandparents got sick and then passed as well.Her grandmother always told her to be happy, to love her sewing, and to just take the time to enjoy life.She had tried.
She thought she might enjoy being married, until that night she heard her husband say those horrible words about her to his friends.
“You shouldn’t be out there,” Lorenzo said, surprising her as he stepped out into the cold.He was in the process of removing his jacket and as he moved toward her, she pulled back, not wanting him to touch her.
“Clarissa, you’re going to make yourself ill,” he said.
“I’m fine.”
She couldn’t feel her arms, and she looked toward Lorenzo.It had been hard to marry him.She didn’t know if her sister had any real feelings for him, but it felt like a betrayal.
