Page 118 of Embrace

My attempt to tease falls flat when Kian doesn’t answer. I’m not even sure he’s heard me. When he’s got that glossed-over look, I don’t like it. I don’t like that something that I did to myself is affecting him this much.

I crawl across the mattress to place a hand over his fisted one. Kian’s head snaps toward me, like I pulled him out of a deep daydream.

“Do you need something? I can order food,” he says.

I try not to let my eyes tear up. “I’m okay. You just looked a little lost.”

It’s a terrible feeling knowing you let someone down.

“We can talk about it, if you want.” I’d rather do anything but talk about what Victor said to me, but if it helps Kian, I will. If it makes him look at me with anything but pity, I’ll talk.

Kian cups my face gently with one hand, his other landing on my bare knee, making soothing motions on the skin. “Sleep, Scar. I’m right here.”

It’s the politest rejection, the only kind Kian knows how to give. He’s already got so much going on with his mom and sister, it’s selfish of me to put this on him. I heed his words, going back to my spot under his covers.

What have I done to him?

Hours pass like that, my mind never turning off, keeping me wide awake.

When I check the time on my phone, it’s three in the morning, and the laptop screen is casting a blue haze over a sleeping Kian. He’s slumped in the chair, his head tilted and his face relaxed in sleep. I debate whether I should wake him, to tell him I’m leaving, but it’s the first time in the last few days that he looks relaxed.

I told him I wouldn’t be good at this, at being the kind of girlfriend I’ve seen his friends have. Sweet, uncomplicated, happy relationships. That’s what Kian deserves.

Carefully, I grab my jacket off the bed. The fabric’s still heavywith the rain from earlier, but I shrug it on anyway. I hover by the door for a second, my eyes lingering on him, his steady breathing, the small crease etched between his brows.

Then I slip out, tiptoeing against the floorboards, shutting the front door behind me as my Uber pulls up to the curb.

This feels all too familiar.

Forty-one

Kian

My girlfriend isgone.

The only indication that she’s okay is her text from this morning.

Scarlett:Forgot about my assignment, went back to the dorm to finish it.

I know the girl’s schedule better than my own. She doesn’t have anything due.

When I head to the kitchen, every one of my movements is rough. Even Cole chewing loudly in my ear as he stands next to me in the kitchen is enough to tick me off.

I’ve never been so on edge and irritable. I can tell he notices the shift because he gets this wounded look after I tell him to move away from me.

“Just chew with your mouth closed,” I mutter, biting into a piece of plain toast.

He scrutinizes me from where he’s leaning against the counter. “Who pissed in your cereal?”

I give him a look.

“Ah, it’s because Scarlett left early this morning, isn’t it?”

“How do you even know that?”

Cole shrugs, walking to the sink to rinse out his bowl.

“Did she look okay?”