Page 89 of Drawn Together

My intention had been to lock myself in my room as soon as we entered the apartment, but Sebastian stopped me with his deep, baritone voice. “Marfil, wait a second.”

I turned slowly toward him.

“It was unfair to make you promise not to ask any questions about Samara,” he said, taking me totally by surprise, “but there are just things in my past that I prefer to leave there. Do you understand?”

The way in which he said her name, with such familiarity, such intimacy, left me unsettled.

“Do you love her?”

“Yes.”

My heart stopped beating.

“But I’m notin lovewith her.”

That phrase, that clarification on his part, could mean so many things.

“What happened between the two of you?”

Sebastian stepped closer. “I can’t tell you,” he said, looking at me sadly, as if he wished to tell me so many things but couldn’t.

I pressed my lips together. We were back to keeping secrets.

“But I want to make one thing clear,” he said, lifting a hand to my cheek. “I will never hurt you or place you in danger. You know that, right?”

I nodded. He seemed to want to say more, but something kept him from going on. I could see it in his face, and I was dying to know why. His fingers slid down to the back of my neck, giving me chills, and for a second, the only sound was the sighing of our breath and the beating of our hearts.

“I fucked up, Marfil… Everything I promised myself I wouldn’t do…” His mouth hovered dangerously close to mine as he said this. “I swore I would stay out of it. I swore…”

“What are you talking about?”

He rested his forehead against mine and closed his eyes as if what he was saying pained his soul. “How am I going to continue with this if…?”

“Sebastian…”

He opened his eyes when he heard me say his name.

“What are you talking about?” I asked again, alarmed to see him so upset.

“Nothing. Don’t listen to me.” He stepped away, collecting himself.

I studied him for a few seconds, trying to decide whether I should push the issue, given how upset he was. “I’m scared,” I confessed, and his attention returned to me. “It’s all just too much sometimes. I feel like I’m going to explode, but just knowing you’re here makes all the fear go away.”

My words seemed to have had a strange effect on him.

“You shouldn’t feel that way,” he said in such a low voice that I could’ve misheard him.

“Something tells me everything that’s happened in this past month is only a foreshadowing of something even more horrible about to happen.”

His eyes gleamed, and I could tell he was conflicted as he once again cradled my face in his hands. “Listen to me, Marfil,” he said, looking me straight in the eyes. “You shouldn’t trust anyone, not even me.”

Of all the things he could’ve said, that was the last thing I expected to hear come out of his mouth.

“You can’t tell me that you’d never hurt me and then say that you can’t be trusted.”

Sebastian clenched his jaw, and I saw the veins in his neck stand out.

“They’re two different things,” he said very somberly, barely moving his lips.