Page 4 of Wind Rider

“Fine.Ifyou’re Chosen today then will you have time for more in your life?”

“I don’t know,” she said honestly. “I haven’t thought beyond the Choosing.”

Clayton drew a deep breath and then said all in one big rush, “Would you please tell me if you’re even attracted to me or would you rather mate with another guy, or even a woman?” There was no bitterness in Clayton’s voice. The Herd considered sexuality fluid, so there was no stigma attached to women loving women, or men loving men—or even a woman deciding she would rather live as a man or a man desiring to live as a woman. Sexual exploration was normal and natural, and as long as it was consensual, all was accepted.

River answered him with the only truth she knew. “I think you’re pleasing to look at. You’re smart and funny, and we’ve been friends since we were children. But I don’t have sexual feelings for you. I’ve told you that before—many times. I don’t have sexual feelings for anyone. I just want to be Chosen and begin my life as a Wind Rider and, hopefully, a Crystal Seer.That’swhat is most important to me. Can you understand that?”

Clayton’s body language completely changed. He crossed his armsand took a step back. His expression went from cajoling to flat and emotionless. Bitterness gave his otherwise charming voice a hard edge. “Can I understand you not having sexual feelings for anyone? No, not really. River, you’re sixteen. I’m eighteen. Everyone else our age—everyone we’ve grown up with and everyone we meet who’s about our age from the other Herds—they’re falling in and out of love and are pretty obsessed with it. So, no, I donotunderstand what the hell is wrong with you. But that doesn’t change the fact that I care about you—as more than just a friend. And I wish you would give us a chance.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’d wish you luck today, but you won’t need it. Your weanling will find you, and maybe then you’ll have time for the rest of your life—for love and a mate.”

Then Clayton turned away from her and was gone.

River waited, holding the crystal tightly and allowing it to slow her heartbeat and soothe her roiling stomach. Then she retraced her steps up the small incline.

I won’t let it hurt me. I won’t let it make me feel like I don’t belong. Not today.

River paused at the top of the incline and gazed out at the Herds that spread before her on the Tallgrass Prairie. The sun had lifted above the horizon. It was fat and the color of a ripe peach, shining a light that seemed suddenly golden upon the Rendezvous Site.

The huge granite monoliths, mined centuries before by their ancestors from the nearby Rock Mountains, had flecks of crystals in them, and the caress of the morning sun made them sparkle magickally. They’d been placed in a careful spiral surrounding the slash in the earth that had been formed during the earthquakes that had razed the prairie when the sun exploded uncounted generations ago. Mirroring the spiral placement of the stones, the Herds circled around the cave, turning the prairie into a patchwork of color.

River’s eyes found Herd Magenti first. Its purple tents and the long, swallowtail pennant that waved lazily in the morning breeze with the Herd’s insignia of a cluster of crystals shimmered and drew her gaze like fire draws moths. River loved her Herd, and was proud that the bloodof Magenti Wind Riders was the only blood that produced Crystal Seers—those who awakened crystals and their sleeping properties within.

There is nothing wrong with me! The Herd accepts me. Mother has never once chastised me for not choosing a lover or going on and on about wishing someone would desire me. We haven’t even spoken of it. And my friends don’t say much about it, either. Well, at least not much anymore.

But did she really have friends? Or had they stopped teasing and questioning her because she’d withdrawn from them, especially over the past year?

River clutched the crystal, drawing on the grounding properties of quartz to soothe the tumultuous thoughts Clayton had brought to the surface. She slowed her breathing. A wild neigh of greeting pulled her attention from the cluster of purple to the emerald green tents of Herd Virides and their pennant, adorned with the outline of a running stallion, as was proper for the Herd that consistently produced the swiftest horses. She watched a stallion prance to a woman dressed all in green. The woman embraced her Companion and then he bowed slightly—not in a sign of subservience, but in a sign of love so that she was able to leap onto his wide, bare back. Once she was astride the stallion the magnificent horse tossed his head and pranced before leaping up and kicking out spectacularly. River was sure she heard the Rider’s joyous laughter echoing around her before she lost sight of them among the tents and other waking horses and Riders.

It would be nice to be Chosen by a colt—one that would someday become a stallion.Nice, but not River’s dream.

Her gaze went from the green tents to Herd Jonquil and their bright, sun yellow tents. Their pennant was the easiest to read from a distance as the dark outline of a magnificent bison labeled their Herd as supreme hunters.

Beside Jonquil was Herd Cinnabar, with their bloodred tents and their pennant that showed a single black spear. From as far north as the great, frozen lakes, as far south as the brackish entrance to the Southern Sea, as well as all the way east to the Mighty Miss, the river that served asboundary of the prairie, to the base of the Rock Mountains just west of where they were now, young men and women Wind Riders came from all corners of the enormous prairie to train with Herd Cinnabar’s unparalleled warriors.

Did Clayton go to them because of me? Because I rejected him?She’d not had that thought before and she immediately pushed it away.If I am why he left, then that is his issue, not mine. I promised him nothing. I’ve promised no one anything!

River squeezed the crystal around her fisted hand, letting the warmth from it thaw the anger within her that made her feel cold and alone.

Calm again, River’s gaze went to the beautiful blue tents that marked Herd Indigo. Each was a unique shade, and from this distance she thought they looked like water refracting the sun’s rays. She saw that this time their pennant was a sweet, summer day blue that showed off nicely the intricately braided circular pattern that filled the center of it, symbolizing that Herd Indigo were experts in the complex art of healing.

Each of the Five Great Herds was a unique part of a whole. Though different, they depended upon one another—they traded together; they shared the bloodlines of their horses; they mated with one another—they were together, yet separate.

Why is that not okay for me? Why can’t I be part of our Herd, but not intimately tied with any one person?

It had confused River since she and her female friends had begun to develop breasts and bleed with their moon time. That change had affected River physically, as it had the other girls, but unlike them it hadn’t affected her mentally—or at least not much it hadn’t.

River’s focus had remained the same—she wanted to be Chosen. She wanted to be the kind of Rider her mother and her Herd could be proud of. The other girls? They still did their assigned duties caring for the Herd, but where they all used to pretend to be Wind Riders together and daydream about racing over the Tallgrass Prairie and leading Herd Magenti into prosperous season after season, her friends now wanted nothing more than to rush through their duties so they could preen for and flirtwith boys who not so long before had been too silly and immature for them to even bother being friends with.

River thought they were ridiculous for letting lust command so much of their lives. She sighed. If she was going to be honest with herself she had to admit that her friends obviously thought River ridiculous fornotlusting after anyone.

Sure, she’d done some experimenting. She’d let Clayton kiss her—several times, actually, before he’d left for warrior training with Herd Cinnabar. The kisses—they’d been okay. Not great. Not awful. Just okay. Certainly nothing to gush and giggle over.

River had also kissed Gretchen, one of her childhood friends who very openly liked girls and boys. She’d liked how soft Gretchen was, and appreciated her beauty, but again the kiss was just okay.

“I don’t understand what all the fuss is about. No kiss has ever made me feel even close to the excitement that fills my mind, body, and spirit when I’m with the Herd’s horses. And why is that so wrong—so hard for my friends and Clayton to understand?” River queried the warming air around her as her eyes continued to scan the Rendezvous Site in appreciation of the combined might of the five Wind Rider Herds.

With a jolt she realized how sun-filled the morning had become and how much activity was happening on the prairie below her and she hurried down the lip of the bank, sprinting toward the purple tents of Herd Magenti.

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