Page 137 of Last First Kiss

“Yeah, okay,” Jordan manages, nervous, unsure of what else to say. What he should be doing.

He searches Jamie’s face for an answer.

“We need stuff,” Jamie tells him.

He stretches to the wooden nightstand. It’s covered in phone chargers and old receipts and jewelry Jamie never wears. He yanks open the bottom drawer. Immediately, items fall out. Jordan peers over Jamie’s shoulders to inspect.

A string of pink silicone beads. A neon-blue vibrator. A very anatomically correct dildo.

“Oh, God.”

Jamie rights himself. “Found ’em!”

He dangles a strip of condoms and holds up a bottle of expensive-looking lube.

“How should—I mean, where should I…” Jordan shyly looks at Jamie through his eyelashes, scrambling for words. “Is there a position you like?”

“All of them. Well, most of them.”

Jordan exhales, hoping for a more concrete response.

Jamie must see it in his face. “Reverse cowboy’s my favorite. That’s when—”

“I know what it is, Jamie. I’m inexperienced, not ignorant.”

“Not for long.” A corner of Jamie’s mouth hitches.

That’s it. Jordan’s never going to make it past this part. He’s too overwhelmed and too overstimulated by Jamie Petersinsinuatingwhat’s about to happen to fully commit.

Thankfully, Jamie makes it easy for him. “Since it’s your first time,” he says, climbing into Jordan’s lap, “it’s better like this.”

His strong thighs bracket Jordan’s hips. He rests one hand on Jordan’s shoulder for balance. He curls forward until their foreheads almost touch.

Soft and patient, he says, “This position is more intimate.”

“Mm-hmm.” Jordan has been reduced to noises.

“It’s better for me too,” Jamie carries on. “I haven’t bottomed—haven’t done anything with someone else in a long time.”

“A long time?”

Jamie cocks an eyebrow.

Jordan reads between the lines:

Not since his last relationship. Over a year ago. Not while they were hanging out before. Not while they’ve been hanging out now either. Jordan doesn’t know how to parse that revelation, so he doesn’t.

Jamie’s grin is dark, hungry. “This way, we both have control.”

Jordan swallows hard. “We do?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But—”

There’s no time for more questions. Jordan can’t form one anyway. Because Jamie is slicking his fingers with lube. Then adding a generous coating to Jordan’s. He almost remembers how to breathe as Jamie prepares himself before guiding Jordan to help.

Jamie’s warm and welcoming. He grips each of Jordan’s fingers like they’re not enough. He needsmore. His body says as much, his spine arched like a bow. Hushed words spill off his lips like a prayer.