Page 11 of If I Go Down with This Ship

God, what is wrong with me?I coulddie, and here I am, ogling the fucking captain of this ship.What would Louise do?Damn it all, Louise is no better.Hell, she’d probablyencourageme.

“I’m in need of a cabin boy,” the captain says as he steps back.The distance calms something in me, and I want to raise my hand and point out that “boy” is not exactly a fitting title for a man in his thirties, but the look on his face quickly shuts me up.“I know you’re a grown man, but it’s just a role.While it’s usually held by a young apprentice, it’s not unusual to have a man or woman step in as a cabin boy, particularly when we’re as short of people who can read or write.Now, you obviously have no working knowledge of ships—”

“I have some,” I interrupt.I think back on all the research I’ve done, the historical walking tours I’ve taken, even thatpirate-themed tourist trap I went to.It’s not a lot, admittedly, but it’s something, at least.

He meets my gaze steadily.“Do you, now?”He steps closer until there is only a hair’s breadth of distance between us, and despite the pure animosity in those deep brown depths, I’m inescapably drawn toward him, as if magnetized.I have to stop myself from moving forward.“Can you write?”

“Yes,” I say breathlessly.

“Ah, but can you hoist sails, prep cannons, raid ships, or kill someone when the time calls for it?”He inches closer, his eyes flicking over my face.When I don’t respond, he grins, shifting back and holding out a hand for me.There is space between us now, and without that scent suffocating the air around me or the heat rolling off his body, I can breathe once more.

“Welcome toShe Deceitful.I’ll be your captain, Captain Silas Night.”

His arm brushes past me as he grabs what appears to be a logbook and a quill pen.His fingers skim mine for the briefest of moments before he shoves them both into my hands.I look between them, running the feather through my fingers.It’s probably best I don’t tell him I have no clue how to use quill pens or ink.

“Welcome to the crew,Laszlo.”

I deflate, my entire body relaxing as he makes to leave.But then he pauses and spins on his heel, squinting.Oh.Oh no.

“Did you spill my ink, Laszlo?”

“It was a complete accident.”

A small meow stops me short, and I lurch back, bumping into Captain Night as a gargantuan, fluffy orange cat leaps up onto the desk.It looks between us with large, green eyes before lifting one meaty paw and licking it.

The entire pad of its paw is stained black.

From the ink.

You’ve really done it now, Laszlo.

I turn back to Captain Night, forcing a smile.My eyes flick from the ring on his finger to his face.“You… have a cat.”

“Sir eats the mice.”

“S-sir?”

Captain Night nods.“That’s his name.And he’s theship’scat, not mine.”Your ring would beg to differ, I think, finding the little paw prints again.

He scratches Sir behind the ears, eliciting a deep, rumbling purr, and annoyance creases Captain Night’s brow as he does so.“Just be sure to clean it up before the day’s end, Laszlo.”

Sir leaps down, padding toward the closed door before plopping his butt on the floor and meowing at the ceiling.

“So you’re not going to kill me?”I venture, taking a step toward the door.

“For spilled ink?”Captain Night shakes his head.“I’m not so cruel.”

I clutch the logbook awkwardly to my chest, mouth going dry.“I don’t understand,” I say, following Captain Night and a chipper Sir out of the cabin and up the stairs to the main deck, stopping just short of the quarterdeck.Sir wanders off, pausing every now and then to rub against the crew’s legs, demanding the occasional pet.I refocus on Captain Night.“Don’t pirates normally vote on this kind of thing?Am I really just ‘part of the crew’?”

I grip the logbook tighter.This must be a mistake.I think back to every show, movie, and book about pirates I’ve ever read and watched.As far as I’m aware, I’m to be vetted—pulled through the ropes, so to speak—before I can be trusted withsomething like a logbook.The raids, the supplies, the secrets of this entire ship lie within these pages, and I’m a stranger, expected to protect them with his life?Not that I know what a cabin boy even does, but it must be important enough of a role to have access to this, surely?

Captain Night turns toward me, his brow arched, and it’s only now that I notice a faint silver scar cutting through it.“For someone who has never stepped aboard a pirate ship, you seem to know an awful lot about pirates, Laszlo.”He moves closer, eyes narrowing into slits.“My last cabin boy was slaughtered, and my last quartermaster along with half my crew were killed because one of our crew—mycrew—betrayed us.We take betrayal very seriously aboard this ship.So I ask you, Laszlo, the man who appeared out of thin air, do you plan to betray us?”

“No?”

I see a flicker of emotion flash across his features.Anger, guilt?But it’s gone just as quickly.He waves his hands in the direction of the deck, and it’s now that I notice it’s full of crew, and they are all working, eyes carefully trained away from us as if they haven’t been watching us and listening in.I wonder what they think of me, what they see in this lanky, awkward man who is only alive by the grace of their captain.If it were them, if they’d had the power, would they have killed me?

“Not one of my crew can read, write,ordo basic maths, and right now you are my last resort.I do not trust you, my crew does not trust you, but you are all we have, and for whatever wicked game the Fates are playing, you are fulfilling a position I am in dire need of, whether you are a boy or a man.”