Page 35 of If I Go Down with This Ship

I peek at Captain Night, but Adelphine is already taking the paper from my hands and handing it back to Astra.They tuck it into the inside pocket of their waistcoat, tilting their chin up.

But I don’t understand.The secrecy, the quiet, the sneaking around, the raid.All for a manifest?What’s on that manifest that would be considered important enough to kill for?What information are they after?

Astra pushes off the wall, and Adelphine, with a nod to them, retreats to her seat behind her desk.Expression carefully blank, Astra rounds on me, and I lean away, hands in the air.Captain Night may have an air of dominance, but Astra has the air of someone ready tokill.I swallow hard.

“Wh-what is this?What does that ship manifest have to do with me?Why am I even here?”

“Whyishe here?”Astra asks, swiveling to Captain Night.

“I trust him,” Captain Night says, gaze trained on me.I meet his deep brown eyes, confused.

Why?Why does he trust me?

Against all odds, he has helped me time and time again.When he let me stay aboard his ship, when he gave me a job, cared for me while I was sick, caught me in the boat, caught me again in the waters at the beach.

But the anger rolling off Astra now is poisonous.Why did I ever think I could find a place in this world?I’ve been fooling myself.

“My ex-fiancé,” Astra finally says.

I blink.“Sorry, come again?”

“Two years ago,” Astra says, “I was stood up at the altar by my then-fiancé William Fitzgerald.”

They stare at me in silence.I try to imagine the Astra standing before me at an altar with someone named William Fitzgerald, but this oddly aesthetically pleasing, grimy look is all too fitting for them.Then I remember the scrap of lace in their pocket, the way they fiddled with it.

“What does that have to do with the…” With themanifest.Oh, it makes so much sense now.The quiet, the sneaking, the merchant ship.And the manifest.“You’re looking for him, aren’t you?”I ask, turning to them.

My hands drop to my sides as I take in the solemn expressions of Adelphine, Jack, and Captain Night.After my gaze lingers on Captain Night a second too long, it slides back to Astra.

“I joined Captain Night’s crew two years ago, dressed indisguise.I thought William had been pressed to sea, but thanks to Captain Night and his connections on this island, I finally have a lead.”Astra sighs, pulling off their hat.For the first time since I’ve met them, they appear defeated, if only for a moment.But that defeat quickly turns to animosity, fire burning in their eyes.“His name is Willie Taylor, and we thought he was working aboard that merchant ship, but, as it turns out, he’s forged a new career.”

“The manifest—” I start, recalling Fitzgerald’s name on the list.

“Yes.Two years ago, he worked aboard that ship to pay off some gambling debts.In the time since he’s built a bit of a reputation.”

“Reputation?”

Astra smiles coyly.“It would seem he’s since joined a crew.”

And then it dawns on me.“You’re hunting another pirate now.”

None of the others are nodding, but they’re also not shaking their heads.What am I missing?I still don’t understand what part I must play in this, but going after another pirate or whatever Willie Taylor has since become, hunting for a man who turned Astra’s world upside down and left them at the altar…

I think back to Astra crouched on the stairs, a withered gray scrap of lace in their hands that they kept hidden away in their pocket.How long have they wondered where their William went, why they were stood up?

But there’s no sadness in their face now, only determination.And, of all the things pirates could get up to, I rather like the image of revenge in honor of a crew member.

Against my better judgment, against the urge to snatchCaptain Night’s jacket and leave, I feel a sense of adventure tugging my core.Thisis what my book’s been missing, and I can stay a little longer, just long enough to gather more research.

I can’t stop myself from grinning as I cross my arms over my chest.“Where do I sign up?”

Captain Night smiles tentatively at me, and I force my gaze not to stray to his jacket, to the brilliant blue fabric that wants to pull my attention.

It isn’t going anywhere, and when I’m ready and I’ve seen this through to the end and collected my necessary research, I can go.

It’ll be easy.

12On a Night like Tonight