Page 53 of If I Go Down with This Ship

“I can’t decide if I like it,” I admit as his fingers settle at the corner of my lips.I’ve always been clean shaven, for as long as I can remember.

But it’s not terrible.It even makes certain things more… interesting.

His eyes meet mine for a heated moment before he says, “Keep it.I like it.”

My stomach dips as I smile back at him.“Okay, I’ll keep it.”

He kisses my cheek and leaves first, disappearing up to the main deck in a blur of blue.When I finally leave the cabin, pale-faced but mostly recovered, the crew claps, and I wave my hands in greeting to those lingering around, bowls of food steaming in their hands.My stomach gurgles pleasantly.

“He’s alive!”Pip calls.He limps toward me and hands me a bowl of stew and a mug of ale, and I sigh in relief at the sight of anything but more bone broth.

“Thank you,” I say graciously.I slurp at the edge of the bowl, gasping as it burns down my throat.But I don’t care—anythingbut broth.

Pip smiles and claps me on the shoulder.I jolt in surprise, some of the stew splashing over the side and onto my finger, and gasp as it scalds me.

“Yer looking better, Laszlo,” Pip says, ignoring me.

“Thanks, I’m…” I press a hand to my lips.I can feel my stomach fighting back.Oh god, not again.

“He’s a goner,” Mick mutters as I lean out over the railing and spew.

“Third time’s the charm?”Silas asks, peering at me.

I pull on another fresh shirt as I grumble to myself.“Is this my third time?”He nods solemnly.“Fuck me,” I mutter under my breath.Silas hears it, but doesn’t respond for a beat, just watches me dress, smirking.

“You’ll get the hang of it,” he tells me, fixing my shirt.Hisshirt.

No applause follows my entrance this time, no whoops or hollers from the other crew members as I take the steps tothe main deck, and I don’t blame them.Pip hands me a bowl of stew, and everyone waits anxiously as I carefully slurp a mouthful.

It is rich and hearty, the cabbage and beef melting on my tongue.When I don’t lurch up from my spot and vomit everywhere, Pip and Jack jostle me in muted congratulations.I take another tentative bite, breathing through the steamy mouthful.

“I don’t think I could handle another day stuck inside,” I say around the bite.

I set down the stew for a moment and lick off my fingers before picking up my mug and taking a long drink of ale.I’m just grateful to be standing.There’s a slight pang of disappointment at the thought of sleeping down below, of rejoining the crew after more than a week in that bed with Silas, but I’m not here on this crew to lounge about and sleep.

I’m here to work.

“Ah, ye’ll be back at it in no time, I’m sure of it.”Pip grins at me as he disappears into the mess, Sir not far behind.

Scanning the ship, I spot Mick.He’s seated by the foremast, legs spread out before him and back pressed against the rails.I plop down next to him, setting my ale beside me and holding up the stew.

“Welcome back,” Mick mumbles, mouth full.

Snorting, I blow on the stew.“Thank you,” I say, swallowing down another bite, the bowl already cooling.Chewing on a large chunk of meat, I glance up at the sky.The storm is nearly upon us now.Dark, ominous gray clouds swirl above, wisps of cool air making me shiver.I thought it would come sooner, but there’s something more dreadful about watching as we’ve sailed closer to it these last few days.

Still, Silas does not steer us out of its path.What on earth is he planning?

“We’ll be just fine,” Mick says.

I raise a brow at him as I slurp.“How do you know?”

Mick finishes the last of his food before setting aside the bowl and wiping a hand across his mouth.His expression is somber.“We’ve been through a lot of storms, this ship and her crew.It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.”

Nodding silently, I work on my food.After a beat Mick stands, pausing to swallow down the last of his ale.“It’s good to see you up and about, Lasz.We’ve missed you.”

Something inside of me relaxes at the use of my nickname.Humming, I watch him go.I will never get used to the feeling of belonging.It’s something I’ve spent thirty-four years searching for, and I’ve simply stumbled upon it by pure happenstance.

And, well,magic.Or whatever the hell this is.