Page 63 of If I Go Down with This Ship

“Hey!”someone says as they nudge Jack with their pistol.“No talking.”

From the scattered remnants, it appears the crew made alarge headway with the foremast and sails but were forced to stop halfway through, everything abandoned across the beach in disarray.

My knees shake as we are forced ahead, and I wonder if we’re going to die.The pirate life has its risks, but I assumed we’d be safe here.

“What do we do?”I whisper as we’re shoved down to our knees in the sand.I nearly fall forward, catching myself by the elbows before straightening.

The light of the torches bounces off Silas’s tanned skin as he glances sidelong at me.He looks defeated as he responds, “I don’t know.”

My stomach drops.Heart in my throat and fear clawing its way through my insides, I search the beach frantically.If Captain Silas Night believes nothing can be done, then we are well and truly fucked.

20Whale, Hello

Nothingprepares you for death, and though I just spent a few wonderful hours in the sand rolling around and kissing Silas without a care in the world, I’m not done yet.I’ve only just begun to know him, to skim the surface of Captain Night.And though part of me is still here for the story, it’s become so much more complicated.

My eyes slide to the man on his knees in the sand next to me, and I trace the way he’s tucked his hair around his ear, the stubble that’s growing unruly as it lengthens.His lips are pressed together in a flat line as he quietly and carefully assesses the people surrounding us.

Though I’ve only been a part of this crew for a few weeks, the thought of it all ending on this beach makes me sick.I search our crew’s expressions.Their faces are cast in shadows, but as they turn and see Silas and me, fear and anger and determination warp their features.They have lost more thanhalf their crew by now, and they do not want to lose another soul.

I don’t want anyone else to die.

It’s strange, to have surrounded myself with pirates for a month, to find myself so drawn to them.They’re spirited, more adventurous than anyone else I know, even Louise.Perhaps they have a…reputation, but to me, they’ve become something more than just a crew of strangers.

They’ve become family.

And isn’t that what all of this is about?Isn’t that what I’ve been searching for?A place to belong.And I belong to them now, more than I think I ever belonged to anyone else.

“I heard a certain ship left Nassau Harbour after entering a certain room at a certain tavern.”I don’t recognize the voice, but Silas tenses beside me.“We saw the storm when we arrived, so I thought we’d come and take a look.”

A woman stops beside us.She’s dressed in a long burgundy coat.She wears dark pants that are tucked into shiny black boots and a billowing plum shirt that shows off quite a lot of cleavage.She is remarkably gorgeous, in an almost terrifying way, even with a missing canine, and she doesn’t even blink when Sir pops up from out of nowhere to weave between her legs, purring as if he knows these strangers.

The woman stoops beside us with a smile.Freckles splatter over her high cheekbones, framing thin pink lips.Her red hair is set ablaze by the light of the torches, and her warm brown eyes are calculating as she searches our faces for some hint of fear.I have no doubt that mine is there, laid bare for all to see.

“I was horrified when I arrived to find your crew lazing about, Silas.”I jerk in surprise at the use of his first name.“Then again, you were never too hard on me.”She laughs and stands with a grunt before motioning to her people.They put away their weapons with practiced ease, slipping knives and swords into sheaths, holstering their guns.The woman holds out a hand to Silas, and, with an apologetic glance at me, he takes it.

Who the hell is this?

“Charlotte, you nearly gave me a scare.”Silas laughs as he shakes her hand before pulling her in for a brief hug, his hands sliding momentarily along her waist.

I open and close my mouth.What the fuck is going on?All the warm, cozy feelings I felt minutes earlier seem to disappear at once.Charlotte looks at Silas like he has all the answers, and my heart feels as though it’s tearing in two, my vision hazy as I take them in.

And then Silas is holding out a hand to me and helping me up.I offer my hand to Charlotte numbly, and she tentatively takes it, squeezing too hard.I hiss as I reclaim my hand, shaking it out.

“Laszlo,” Silas starts, motioning to Charlotte, “this is Captain Charlotte Rowe.She sailed under me for a time before she took hold of her own ship and crew.”

I force a smile as the crew ofShe Deceitfulstand and brush past Charlotte’s crew.It explains so much.Their camaraderie, the use of his first name.Captain to captain, they’re equals.

But I can’t help but think we are not.I am a man without a reputation.Just another piece of his crew.

Silas clamps a hand on my shoulder, and Charlotte doesn’t miss it, sneering when his hand doesn’t fall away.

“Laszlo is our newest crew member,” Silas says.

Charlotte blinks, expression neutral.But her left eye twitches, then there’s a flicker of a smile, and all that composure is swept away with laughter as she throws back her head and screams.

“You were always a softy at heart, taking in anyone.Still up to your shenanigans, are you?”She throws an arm around Silas’s shoulders and steers him away.I raise a hand as if I can yank him back, but I let it drop with a frown.They’re already so far away, and I can’t hear what they’re saying, heads bent and voices low.But whatever it is, Silas shakes his head and snickers as they disappear back down the trail we just came from.

To the beach we rolled around on, kissed on, where I showed him one of my best-kept secrets.