Page 61 of See You in Your Dreams

“Ash—” I begin, cutting off when he mutely shakes his head. Swallowing down my own sympathetic pain, I cling to his hand. As if sensing our distress, Onyx rubs her head against our linked fingers.

“Things weren’t great after that. Mom and I never really recovered from Dad’s death, and the recurring nightmares didn’t help. Sometimes, I managed to stop them from becoming too bad or even keep them from happening at all. But most nights, I didn’t, often dragging Mom along for the ride. I wasthirteen when I came home from school and found her body. Overdose.”

The tremble in his voice finally gets the better of him, his words shattering. I tug him close, cradling him to my chest while he steadies his breathing.

“Maybe it was an accident,” I venture hesitantly, recalling the heartbreaking vision I’d seen of a younger version of him cradling a woman’s lifeless body in our first shared dream.

His head shifts against me as he shakes it. “She might not have left a note, but I know it was the dreams thatreallykilled her. The nightmares that lingered with us ever since Dad died. Her funeral was the last time I saw Aunt Claudette until I moved here. The Ellingtons took me in, and while they refused to ever acknowledge it, I’m certain I must’ve visited their dreams at least once. They took me to a doctor the very next day, and with the help of their sleeping pills, I did my best to lock that part of myself away forever.”

Until now.

The unspoken words hang between us. For the first time, I feel as if I truly understand Ash’s hatred for his power. To me, dreamwalking seems like the most incredible gift. But if I’d seen what he had, watched helplessly while my lack of control tore apart the people I loved…well, I’d turn my back on it, too.

“It’s not your fault,” I say, rubbing soothing circles into his back. “You can’t blame yourself for what she did. It was her choice, not yours.”

“Maybe.” Ash shudders against me. “But my power definitely didn’t make things any easier on her. Without the nightmares influencing her, who knows? Maybe she would’ve gotten better, been able to move past Dad’s death. Instead, I lost everyone I cared about…and everyone who cared about me. To the Ellingtons, I was never anything but an unwanted obligation—a burden.”

A burden.Tommy’s past taunts reverberate through my skull.

“I can relate,” I say quietly. “Ever since my dad peaced out on us, I’ve felt that way myself. I do everything I can to help out, but it never seems like enough, and college…” I shrug helplessly. “I owe it to them to do everything I can to keep my family together.”

“Bullshit!” Shock ripples through me as Ash twists in my arms, displacing Onyx and forcing my face around to meet his glare. “You already give way too much of yourself to everyone else around you, me included. I know that’s who you are, and I won’t try to convince you to stop caring. But it’s just as important that you don’t loseyourselfin the process of saving others.”

His words ring through my ears like clanging bells. I jerk a nod, swallowing roughly. Ash glares at me a moment longer. Then, his face softens as he presses a kiss to the bridge of my nose.

“Just take care of yourself,” he murmurs, his lips ghosting down my nose and hovering over my cheek. “That’s all I ask.”

I nuzzle my cheek against his, relishing the scrape of his rough bristles. “Right back at you.”

We sit there, holding each other for a long moment until Ash pulls away, clearing his throat. “Right,” he says, covertly swiping at his eyes. “Let’s get this practice session underway.”

We open the door for Onyx while we take turns in the bathroom getting ready for bed, then turn out the lights and snuggle under the covers. This time, I end up the little spoon.

Ash squirms behind me. “Maybe this was a mistake. I never should’ve involved you in all this. It’s not too late for you to back out.”

I bite my lip, trying to muffle the growing excitement in my pajama bottoms from all his wriggling and focus on his statement. “I’m not Harvey or your parents, Ash. This ismychoice. I want to help Greta just as much as you do. So shut up and stop trying to push me away. Okay?”

I lace my fingers through the hand he has draped over me to soften the harshness of my words. Behind me, he sighs. “Okay.”

Tugging his hand higher, I press a kiss to the back of it. “Sweet dreams, Ash.”

After a few seconds, he replies, “You too, Dylan.”

Still holding Ash’s hand, I close my eyes and wait.

twenty-two

Dylan

I’m not certain whenI actually fall asleep. One minute, I’m cradled in Ash’s arms, willing my racing thoughts to calm. The next, I’m floating near him amid a sea of rainbow light. Half-glimpsed images coalesce and dissolve around us in a ceaseless cycle of nascent creation.

“Holy shit,” I breathe, struggling to absorb the otherworldly sight. “Is this what it looked like when you visited Greta?”

Ash nods, his lips tightening as he surveys the space. “It was like this sometimes when I was a kid too, before I entered an actual dream.”

“A dream of a dream,” I murmur. “Before you shape and control it.”

“Controlis a bit of an overstatement,” he grunts. “Whatever this power is, it’s wild and unpredictable. It doesn’twantto be controlled. It never has.”