Page 81 of The Exit Strategy

Marley opens her mouth to argue because I think that’s the only thing she knows how to do, but Katie takes up my plight and explains all the reasons why it’s healthy for young women to have the freedom of sexual exploration.

I’m just sinking back into the sofa when I feel a presence behind me.

Cole.

His nose presses into my hair, his hot breath hitting my ear. I’m not sitting in the middle tonight because Dollie wasn’t feeling well, so no one has noticed him behind me.

“Have you?” he growls.

I lean back and slightly tilt my head. So much for keeping our distance from each other. “Have I what?” I whisper-hiss.

“Experimented? Explored?” Suddenly, he grips the back of my neck, and my pulse kicks up.

“I really don’t see how that’s any of your business. What I’ve done and what I’ll do isn’t for anyone else to decide. Especially not someone who continually fails to act.”

His thumb runs along the side of my neck with enough pressure that I nearly moan.

“Some would argue that not acting is what keeps our world from spinning out of control.” His timbre is a low tone that has a direct line to my core.

Surreptitiously, I glance around to see if anyone has noticed us. As nosy as this group is, it seems implausiblethat they haven’t, but Katie’s on a roll about sexual empowerment that has everyone’s attention. So much so that they forgot to pause their new obsession,Hunted for Love.

His nose presses against the shell of my ear. It’s really freaking hard not to react.

“And some,” I nearly moan, “would argue that you shouldn’t keep knocking on doors if you have no intention of stepping through them.”

A low, pained sound escapes him. It only reaches my ears. “Jesus, Junie. Don’t you think I wish I could? Don’t you think if there were any way, any solution, I’d have barreled through that door years ago?”

He can’t keep doing this to me, but the wine has made me bold enough that I forget about my wobbly heart.

“No,” I whisper. “I don’t think. I don’t think anything because you never speak. You run away. You fix problems and retreat. So no, I don’t think you’d have done anything differently regardless of the circumstances because you’ve never shown me anything to indicate otherwise.”

I stand abruptly, noticing too late that the entire room had zeroed in on us while I was making my last point, but I’m either too angry or too broken to care, and I slam down my now empty glass, then turn to face him.

“For my own sanity, I have to protect myself, Cole. So…just stop knocking, okay? Just…stop.”

Without another word, I flee to the safety of my apartment and intentionally leave the lights off. I’m done waiting for someone to love me.

16

KNOCKING ON DOORS

COLE

GivingJunie space when she’s implanted like an atom in the very foundation of my being is harder to do than I anticipated.

She asked me to stop knocking on doors. She was right to ask. I’m walking a very thin line that’s become blurrier the longer she’s here.

The problem is, I’ve never wanted anything the way I want her.

And I’m tearing apart my life to find a solution. I’m blowing up walls and even hired a private investigator to follow Natalie, but it’s all leading nowhere.

It’s cruel and unusual punishment for a crime I didn’t commit, but I’ve committed to ending this. Even if that means coming clean eventually and hoping for the best.

The only problem I have been able to solve is confirming that Natalie isn’t on the guest list for the Meridian Award banquet. Thank God for small miracles because I needed this win today.

Even Nana Mae has been suspiciously quiet since Junie and I became the main characters of The Haven’s real-lifereality show drama. She dropped dinner off at my desk three hours ago, with a pitying look and an acknowledgment that I look as bad as Junie does.

Now it’s nine p.m., and my pencil has just torn through the vellum. Again. My head drops to my drafting table with a thunk. “Get your shit together, Whittaker.”