Page 74 of What They'll Say About Us

"Well, you said you threw him out around eight, so he had time to sober up." I paused, thinking about everything he'd just told me. "I'm beginning to understand why Paige seemed so messed up the last few weeks of her life. She was having trouble with her brother. She had some kind of illicit relationship with Professor Hale. And she had the pressure of the play."

"You really think she was sleeping with Hale?"

"I do. And Hale was friends with Cabot. Did you know that?"

"No."

"They played chess together, which could be why Cabot didn't investigate the way he should have."

"You are pulling a lot of skeletons out of the closet, Tessa. It's kind of strange that you're the one trying to find out what happened to Paige when you were also one of the reasons why she was having a hard time. You were making her life difficult. You were making her feel like she wasn't good enough."

"I was," I admitted. "And it appears she was trying to get with you to get back at me."

"Which is why it was never going to happen. You can believe that or not."

And now we were back to us. "I believe you," I said slowly. "Back then, I think I was looking for reasons to be mad at you. I was feeling out of control, and none of it really had anything to do with you. I felt like a failure when I didn't get the part, then I felt like second choice when Paige died, and I did get it. Nothing felt right about any of it. I was very caught up in myself, and when you would be nice or try to make me feel better, it just made me angry. Paige had told me once that I didn't deserve you, and I think she was right."

He stared back at me, his gaze filled more with pain and bewilderment than anger. "I never understood why your feelings changed. I thought we had something good, Tessa."

"And then I ruined it."

He nodded. "Yeah, you did."

"I'm sorry, Liam. I realize that doesn't change anything, but I am sorry. And I'm glad I got to say it to you. It feels strange that Paige is the reason why."

"It is ironic. She didn't want us together. She didn't want you to be happy because she wasn't happy."

"The one thing that doesn't make sense to me is why Paige didn't turn to Nate for comfort. He was her boyfriend, and as far as I know, she never broke up with him."

"I did remind her she had a boyfriend," he said. "Nate was a nice guy. I told her if she didn't want to be with him, she should end the relationship."

"What did she say?"

"That I was right, and that Nate was great, and she did care about him, and she just needed to get herself together. At times, she seemed aware that she was not acting right and other times she just seemed completely unlike herself. I'm guessing that was due to whatever she was putting in her body."

"Nate told me that he felt she was pulling away from him, and he didn't understand why."

He let out a sigh. "It's all so tragic. Anyway, I better get back to work. Where are you staying now?"

I hesitated. "I can't say."

I didn't know what emotion it was that ran through his gaze—disappointment, doubt, speculation, but he didn't like my answer.

"I guess that makes sense," he said finally. "You need to be careful. You shouldn't trust anyone."

"I would like to trust you."

His gaze met mine. "But you can't."

"I want to."

"That's not the same thing."

"No, it's not."

He swung his legs around and hopped off the wall. "For what it's worth, I wasn't sure I wanted to trust you again, either, Tessa."

"I appreciate you telling me about Ray."