“Uh-huh. I don’t know what the lesbian equivalent of dick-matized is, but it’s whatever this is.”
“What?” Alicia asked.
“Mary is the lesbian equivalent of dick-matized.”
I smacked her. “I feel like it’s pussy-blind. And no comment.”
“Yeah, she is,” Alicia giggled. “Damn. What is that pretty young thing doing to you?”
“Twisting me like a pretzel,” I admitted. “And making me feel twenty-five again. Fine, I’mhappy. She makes me laugh. I hate that she makes me feel positive.”
“But youloveher,” Clarice said. “Good lord, I don’t envy you. We’re going to be in Norway soon.”
“I am well aware,” I said. “It will kill us both, I am sure.”
“I suggested we do ‘Unintelligible’ andthenswitch to ‘Balcony’,” Clarice said. “She can think about good sex and then roll into rage.”
Chapter 41
Only Rumors
BETTY
In my farmhouse living room, I sat for the first camera session in weeks. While the rest of the barn rode, I toughed it out in a work dress at the beginning of UniVox Week. In a few hours, Marit would arrive. We’d be together—but not together—at the welcome mixer. I’d pretend we weren’t involved. She’d be cool and important. I’d mind myself and try not to be too familiar or drop an I-love-you.
A few months ago, I would have called it a game and thought it a little hot, but now, all I wanted was to throw my arms around her and kiss the minute she arrived. I wanted to hold her hand. I wanted to wake up every morning by her. Until filming wrapped, I knew that was impossible.
“So, let’s go back to the bands. Have you had any thoughts about the acts?” Kaldi asked.
“Oh, well, I’m more impressed after spending some more time listening.”
“And you’ve gotten to know them more, of course.”
I tried not to go deer-in-headlights as she said it. I knew she couldn’t have known, but I couldn’t answer this wrong.
“Well, yeah. Seeing the Brits and Swedes at Miragelite was a treat. I really enjoyed being backstage. Look, even royals can think stuff like that is cool, okay?”
I played it off.
“Would you consider them friends, then?”
I deflected. “I appreciate all the effort they put in.”
“So, you don’t feel like you’d gotten to know them throughout this… even though you spent all that time backstage with them? You were chatting quite a bit with Marit Jensson and her band.” Kaldi waggled her eyebrows.
What the fuck!I wanted to vomit. She knew.
I shifted in my seat. “You’d have to ask them. I have enjoyed getting to know the contestants. Did you know there was a pot and pan band? From Ireland. How cool is that?”
She tilted her head, confused.
“I mean, have youheardthem yet? Truly… innovative,” I said.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, Elisabeth! No one buys that a pot and pan band is your idea of fun!
“I haven’t heard much about them, no.”
“I can introduce you tonight,” I offered.
