Page 104 of Meet Me in the Garden

“The man didn’t pay him,” I say.

“Nope. And the butcher wouldn’t give him the chicken on credit, not when he could sell it to someone else and get the money right away. Dada was completely silent, passing us on the porch and going inside. He went straight in to talk to Mommee, and Lionel and I, we looked at each other, and we knew without saying anything what we had to do. That’s how I remember it, at least. We exchanged a look and then we climbed the stairs to the attic where our birds were just minding their own business, and wewrung the necks of four of them. One for each of us. Mommee and Dada took care of the plucking and the preparing, and Mommee stuffed them with greens and peppers, cooked them perfectly. Did the poor creatures justice, that’s for certain. We had a feast that night. But Lionel never ate another bite of meat after that.”

I’ve been watching Al in profile. Playing out the scene in my mind as he speaks. “How have I never heard this before?” I ask.

“We didn’t like to think about it, I guess. So many things we don’t like to think about. The war. Those hard years after, when we couldn’t get jobs. You and Adele and your mother. And your father. Delphine—God bless her, wherever she is. Bernard, helping the company screw me over, and Lionel in hiding out there in the Bay Area. Should I go on?”

“That’s plenty.”

We sit in the quiet. Mary Wells comes on inside the house, a dulcet melody seeping into the night. I put my hand on his back, give it a rub. He’s as much my brother as anyone could be. I don’t want any secrets between us. A strange calm when I say, “Hey, Al. What’s Ginny’s family’s restaurant called?”

“Vito and Alma’s.” He gives me a half smile. “You know, my feelings are starting to get a little hurt.”

I’m about to tell him. I search for where to start. But I surprise myself and say, “Years ago, I saw Felix try to kiss you.” His face changes, startled. “Will you tell me about it?” I ask. “And then I’ll tell you about Ginny.”

“I’m devoted to your sister,” Al says.

“I know. Don’t worry. I swear, it will stay between us.”

“All right then.” But he sits here for a long time before continuing. Finally, he says, “Felix and I, we had a little something between us when we were young. Before Adele and me. A foolish, childhood thing. I put a stop to it.”

“I don’t know if childhood things are so foolish.”

“What I’m trying to say is, he isn’t some long-lost love of mine. We were friends, and for a time we did some messing around. And then we were friends again. That night of the Christmas party, he tried to rekindle some feelings and I stopped him.”

“Were there other men?”

“No. Don’t get me wrong, I notice when a man’s attractive, but I notice when a woman’s attractive, too. I don’t do anything with any of them. I take it seriously, being a married man.”

“Have you ever felt like you had to hide?”

“May have crossed my mind as a kid, but no. Not in any significant way.” He sets his hand on my knee. “Have you?”

“I’ve spent my entire life hiding.”

“Tell me whatever you’re willing to.”

“It started with Hattie Laurent.”

“When you were living in her house?”

“No, before. It stopped when I was married.”

“And Cyril… did you have feelings for him?”

“I didn’t want to marry him. I did it because Hattie asked me to. It was unfair to Cyril. I know that now.”

“Who knows? Maybe it could have turned into something if he’d made it back from the war. Most people aren’t all one thing or another. What was it with Felix?”

“An arrangement. I thought we’d live our lives together and I found some comfort in that.”

“I thought as much. Even before Felix, I told Adele that you might not be attracted to many men. One night when she was going on and on about you not joining Les Dames Amis. She was so perplexed and there was an obvious answer staring us in the face.”

“What did she say?”

“She said you chose to marry Cyril, that it couldn’t be anything like that.”

“I see. Al, I’m in love with Ginny. I’ve been in love with her for years.”