“What?”
I shouldn’t. I have to go back to protecting her when we return to Auckland. It’s unprofessional. And I’m not sure how she’ll react.
But I can’t help it. I stroke her cheek with my thumb. “I’m in love with you.”
Her eyes widen, and the most beautiful smile spreads across her face. “Really?”
The uncertainty in her voice twists something inside me. She genuinely didn’t know. “I have been for weeks.”
“I’m in love with you too,” she whispers.
Pleasure and hope bloom in my heart. “Say it again.”
“I’m in love with you.” She leans forward and presses her lips to mine, and I slide a hand to the back of her neck and hold her there for a long, sensual kiss.
I don’t know what it means for the future. But right here, right now, it makes me the happiest man on earth.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Aurelia
We lie there for ages, gradually sinking back into the pillows as we finish off the dish of Tiramisu. I feel relaxed and happy, and the stress of the evening before in Auckland seems a long way away.
When the dish is clean, I take it out into the kitchen and put it in the dishwasher while he turns out the lights and checks all the locks. When he’s happy we’re secure, we return to the bedroom and close the door.
We brush our teeth standing at the sink, smiling at each other in the mirror, and then get into bed. Luke draws me toward him, and I snuggle up, loving the feel of his strong arms around me. His heart thuds against my breasts, and his breath whispers across my forehead.
It’s relatively early, but I feel really tired, and I’m glad that he seems happy to go to sleep. We lie there in the darkness, listening to the rain, not saying much, not because we don’t have anything to say, but because neither of us wants to spoil the mood by talking about yesterday. And I think we’re both unsure what to say about our declaration to each other.
He’s in love with me. And he said it first, so it wasn’t as if he only said it because I did.
I think about all those months we’ve been so close to one another; all the times he’s kept me safe. I know it was his job, but it fills me with warmth to think of him looking after me. At the time, I saw it as someone else trying to control me, but I feel differently now. It wasn’t the same as when I was with Dom, who wanted to control which friends I saw, what I ate, and what happened in the bedroom. I shudder to think about it now.
Sex with Luke was so different… part of me can’t believe I was that brave or bold, but I guess I knew what he needed and enjoyed being there for him.
There are so many ways of expressing love, I think drowsily as I begin to enter the no-man’s land between waking and sleeping. I’m sure Penny loved Luke, and Dom loved me, but their past experiences made them reluctant to give up control, and in the process, they drove us away.
Luke kisses my hair, and my lips curve up in the darkness. We’ve a long way to go… but oddly, I feel as if I’ve come home.
*
Some hours later, I jerk awake, completely disoriented. The crack in the curtains reveals a faint glow of starlight, which makes the furniture stand out as unfamiliar black shapes in the thick treacly darkness.
I blink, and then my brain reboots and then I remember everything.
Luke is lying beside me, on his back, one arm resting across his face. As I turn onto my side to face him, he twitches and groans. I think he’s dreaming.
“Shh,” I whisper, putting a hand on his chest. It’s damp with sweat, despite the air conditioning being on, and his heart is racing.
“No,” he says, quite clearly. Is he talking to me? But his eyes are closed.
My heart goes out to him. How awful to have to relive whatever hell he went through every night.
He continues to twitch and mumble, his words mostly indistinct, although occasionally I can make out words. Mostly, “No,” sometimes, “Stop.” He seems to be getting more agitated. Should I wake him? Is that dangerous, or is that a fallacy?
“Please,” he says, and gives a kind of half sob. My heart breaking, I sit up and look at his face. His eyes are still closed, but his face is wet with tears.
“Luke.” I touch his arm gently.
