“Hey…” Emotions swirl around inside me. Joy, because she didn’t sleep with him. Pleasure that she thought about calling me. It might only have been because I make her feel safe, but I think it’s possibly more than that.
But there’s sadness and sorrow too, because it doesn’t change anything. We might have feelings for each other, but it’s an impossible situation.
I can’t just stand there when she’s hurting like this, though. I close the distance between us and hold out my arms. She looks up at me, then moves forward and rests her cheek on my shoulder, and I close my arms around her.
“It’s okay,” I murmur, rubbing her back. “You should have called me.” I wouldn’t have been able to drive because I’d been drinking, but I could have caught an Uber and gone out to get her. I resolve there and then not to drink anymore, not even when I’m not on duty. Until the situation is resolved with her stalker, I’m going to make sure I’m available twenty-four-seven.
“It didn’t seem fair,” she whispers. “You weren’t on duty…”
“I don’t care. If you’re worried or afraid, you call me, understand? And I’ll come running.”
She swallows hard. “I don’t want to be weak.”
“You’re not.”
“I am.” She moves back and looks up at me, and I drop my arms. “It’s kind of you to show me the self-defense stuff,” she says, “but we both know that if a guy really got hold of me, I wouldn’t stand a chance.”
“No,” I say firmly, “that’s not true. We’ve only just begun our sessions. I’m going to show you plenty of moves you can use on a man, even if he’s bigger and stronger than me.”
She shivers. “There were two guys that came up to me. Luckily, the Uber arrived just after that and I was able to get in. But I was really scared for a minute. I hate it.” Her eyes shine. “I hate being a woman sometimes. I hate being small and defenseless. And I hate that men look at me and only see a victim.”
“I don’t,” I say honestly.
“You’re just saying that.”
“No, I’m not,” I say firmly. “Yes, you’re small. You can’t change that. But there are plenty of things you can do to feel less defenseless. I don’t just mean learning the moves. Predators don't usually choose the strongest target. They choose the one who looks distracted, frightened or unsure of themselves.”
I move closer to her, slide a finger under her chin, and lift it. “It’s about how you carry yourself. You need to walk with your head up, keep your shoulders back, and maintain a purposeful pace. Make sure you keep your hands out of your pockets. Keep eye contact with anyone around you to show them you’re not intimidated.”
“What if I am?”
“You’re not, because you’re Wonder Woman, do you hear me?”
That makes her give a sniffly laugh. “I’m really not.”
“Yes you are. You’re fucking amazing. You’re so far from being a victim, it’s not funny. Any man who comes within tenfeet of you better watch out, because I’m going to make sure you know exactly how to defend yourself and deal out pain. You’re stronger than you think—do you hear me?” I end fiercely, hating that she’s so scared of my gender.
She looks into my eyes. “All right,” she whispers.
I nod with satisfaction. “Good. Now come on. Let’s get started on the next move.”
Chapter Eleven
Aurelia
The days tick by. Marcus and Wren are getting married on Saturday, so most of the week revolves around that. Wren’s very nervous that it’s going to develop into a full-scale royal wedding, so I intercede between her and my mother, who would love to bump everything up to eleven, and try to encourage her to tone it down a bit.
I’m glad I’m busy, because it takes my mind off the events of the weekend. What happened with Ivan shocked me. It wasn’t as if he was pushy or aggressive in any way. Quite the opposite. But when it came to it, I just couldn’t go through with it.
Maybe, deep down, I was conscious that I only really agreed to go back to his place because I wanted comfort, not sex. Oddly, I think he’d have been happy offering that, but by that stage I was embarrassed and just wanted to get home. He’s asked to meet me again, but I don’t think I’m going to. It’s not his fault. I’m just not in a good place right now, and he deserves better.
The incident with the two guys while I was waiting for the Uber also shook me up. I didn’t tell Luke the whole story because he’d have popped a blood vessel, but they stopped to talk to me and, even when I made it quite clear I wasn’t interested and wanted them to move on, they didn’t go. Instead, they moved closer, and one of them started playing with my hair, while the other put his arm around me. I freaked out and was about to scream when the Uber pulled up, so I was able to get in.
What really shocked me was how vulnerable I felt. I’ve grown used to the fact that most people, especially men, are taller than me, but I’ve never felt threatened before. I’m always surrounded by friends and family, and maybe it’s a bit of lucktoo, but I’ve never had a man make unwanted advances on me, not like that. I’ve always been confident that I’d be able to deal with it, but when it came to it, I was surprised how afraid I was. Maybe it was coming on the back of leaving Ivan, but it’s left me feeling very unsure of myself.
Outwardly, I’m the same old Aurelia, pinning a smile on her face, parading in front of the camera, and meeting and greeting with the same effervescent spirit I’ve always had. Inside, though, I’m not feeling myself at all. And the only person who gets to see that is Luke.
I suppose it’s because he’s with me when I’m off duty—first thing in the morning, when I haven’t yet had time to put on my public persona, in between meetings, and at the end of the day, when I’m tired and unwinding. After his initial attempt to comfort me in the gym, he’s remained more reserved, but I feel as if he’s seen behind the curtain. I showed my vulnerable side to him, and since then I feel he watches me in a different way, not just as the principal he’s trying to keep safe, but because he’s worried about me.
