Page 48 of Don't Think

I scroll mindlessly through my phone while drinking disgusting hotel tea at the breakfast bar. Notifications keep popping up, emails from the studio, a rise in our socials, the usual crap. But it’s Allie’s name that catches my eye before anything else.

I’ve wanted to check on her fordaysnow. Three days to be exact. But every time that urge creeps in, I’ve just ignored it. Shoved it down with everything else I want to do because I just know it’s a bad idea. She has enough going on in her life.

“Hey, man. You ready to go?” James asks, clapping me hard on the back.

It startles me, spilling droplets of tea all over the white worktop.

“Jesus, man. You need a bloody bell with how you sneak up on people,” I say with a chuckle, wiping the spill frantically. “What time did the girls say?”

“Ana just texted. They’re already on their way,” he says.

I nod, staring back into my mug.

Anatextedhim. She texted him because they’re friends now.

How the hell do these guys make it look so easy? Like they just show up and fit right in.

For me, it’s always the fear of rejection that holds me back from forming any sort of relationship. Platonic or not. I mean, it doesn’t help when your dad spends your entire childhood telling you you’re not worth anyone’s time. After a while, you just start to believe it.

Thankfully, the older I got, the more he just wasn’t around to continue drilling it into my head. Mum finally had enough of his verbal abuse and started locking him out, hoping he’d sober up one day. But that was always met with broken promises… or broken door handles.

James sits beside me, folding his hands on the counter. “You okay? You’ve been… quiet lately. More so than usual.”

My eyebrows pinch together, hoping to look confused. Although, I’m honestly not.

“Yeah, just tired is all.”

“Okay, bud”—he pats my shoulder again—“when you’re not busy being the king of denial, come find me.”

My eyes widen as I snap my head in his direction, watching that smug smile grow on his face. He shakes his head before rising from the stool and walks away with his shoulders shaking from laughing.

Okay, maybe I’m being a little too obvious. But what can I really do about it?

Absolutely nothing.

When we arrive at the aquarium, it’s a lot busier than I expected.

We knew Boston was a busy city, but we figured with it being a Friday in July, people would prefer to be outside in the sun. Not cooped up in a small area to gawk at fish for a few hours.

Well, we were wrong.

After we get our entry wristbands, we walk inside, and the place instantly blows me away. We have an aquarium in Cardiff, but it’snothinglike this.

There’s an open tank in the center of the room filled with penguins relaxing on rock sculptures, and a spiral staircase leading up to the higher levels.

“Holy shit, this place has penguins!” James practically yells, pointing to the exhibit.

A mother with three small kids shoots us a disapproving look.

“Real nice,” she mutters before ushering her children away.

Gareth chuckles under his breath, then leans over the railing to get a better look at everything. “This place is incredible,” he says.

I step closer to the displayed map to get a sense of what we’ll see and instantly feel dizzy. Touch tanks, penguin and sealshows, even a bloody scavenger hunt. Yeah, they really went all out.

“Do we want to just wait for them in the room with the touch tanks?” Gareth asks.

We all nod and follow Gareth through the double doors into a smaller, well-lit room. It’s lined with rows of shallow tanks where stingrays glide by, close enough to the edges that you can reach in and feed them.