Page 79 of Don't Think

And then the shrill alarm from my phone cuts through the silence, ripping the moment right out from under us. A sound I’ve come to fucking hate every morning now.

Because it means we have to go back.

Back to our everyday lives.

Back to this being a secret.

Back to hiding.

And for me—back to the quiet kind of wallowing that only ends when I see her again.

We text back and forth like crazy, sure. But it’s not the same as watching her smile slowly take over her face when I say something stupid, or when she swats my arm when I tease her just a little too much.

She groans softly against my mouth, and not in the way I want. It’s the kind of sound that says she doesn’t want to go.That she wants to stay here tangled up with me in this bed all day long.

That’s how it’s been almost every night for the past week. We have sex, yeah, but then we justtalk. About anything and everything until one of us drifts off to sleep.

Then morning hits, and we’re yanked back into the real world.

Rushing to get dressed.

Rushing to pretend none of this is happening.

And I can tell in the way that she lingers longer each time how much she’s starting to hate this just as much as I do.

But what else are we supposed to do? Our lives are on completely different tracks, pulling us in opposite directions. Neither of us can just drop everything to chase something based on a maybe. We both have careers tugging at us from both sides, plus she’s got herkidsto think about—herreallife.

The feeling of the mattress shifting beneath me pulls me from my thoughts. My eyes land on Allie, and I watch her snap her brainto place and have to literally hold myself back from reaching out and pulling her body against me. Because I know if I asked… she would stay.

She’d press her skin against mine without a second thought.

And that’s exactly why Ican’task.

I refuse to be the reason her world shifts. Not when she already has so much going on in her life between Trevor being a dickbag with not allowing Allie to call her daughters when she wants to, and her hiding something from her two closest friends.

That’d just be selfish.

She stands from the bed and glances at me over her shoulder, giving me a weak, half smile.

“Will I see you tonight?”

I press my lips into a thin line and nod. “You sure will.”

“Promise?” she asks—and god, the tone in her voice kills me. Sadness clings to her words, and it makes me wish there was something I could do to make this easier—but there just isn’t.

I hold up my pinky, forcing a smirk. “Pinky promise.”

Her brow lifts, and the corner of her mouth twitches up into the smallest hint of a smile. Then she steps closer, hooks her pinky around mine, and I quickly tug her back onto the bed.

“Ah! Jax—”

I crash my mouth into hers, swallowing the rest of her words before they can leave her lips. When we pull apart, I lock eyes with her, watching as they flutter back open.

“Promise,” I murmur, a bigger smirk tugging at my lips.

Her smile widens, and she lifts herself off the bed, turning to grab her top from the floor. My eyes land square on her ass, and before I can think, I give her a playful swat.

She whirls around, jaw dropped. “Jax!”