Page 8 of Defend Her Heart

My grip tightens slightly in her hand. Then, quietly, I let it out.

“My ex-husband was very controlling. I thought when he wanted me to move to St. Louis where he played, it was because he couldn’t stand the thought of us being apart. That’s the way he made it seem, at least. All of that changed within the first couple months of being there. He told me he secured a commentating gig for me with the team, but it turns out I was just a coffee chaser. I gave up everything for us. For him. And it kept getting worse…”

My words trail off as I remember the nightmare that was our relationship. After my health began to decline, Bryan’s gaslighting only intensified. He made me believe it was all in my head. Somehow he even got the doctors on his side.

I don’t even notice that I’m nearly hyper-ventilating until Sadie’s hands cup my cheeks.

“Breathe, Avery. I got you. Let’s do it together.”

We spend the next few minutes breathing together, me mirroring her actions the best I can. Once I’ve calmed down enough, I bury my face in my hands.

“I’m so sorry. I’m ruining your party. Please, go back out there to enjoy yourself. I’ll be fine and call myself an Uber.”

Sadie once again reaches up and takes one of my hands in hers.

“Avery. Please look at me.”

Her voice is soft, another calming attribute about the woman who knows nothing about me.

“We’re a family here in Green Bay. And I know you haven’t even officially started, but now that you’re here, that makes you one of us. You’re part of our family, and there’s no place I’d rather be right now than here with you.”

Tears sting the backs of my eyes and I lose the battle ofholding them in when I feel one trickle down my cheek. “God, I am such a hot mess.” I swipe my cheek with the back of my hand and let out a self-deprecating chuckle.

Sadie finally stands and slides the other leather chair that’s across from me closer so she’s sitting next to me.

“You are not a mess. You’re just a human with emotions. Welcome to the club.”

We sit together in silence and it’s not uncomfortable in the least. I’m not sure how much time goes by when I hear a soft knock on the wall near the entrance to the study.

Katie stands at the opening, her beautiful auburn hair pulled back into a high ponytail now. In her hands is my large Stanley cup.

“Connor was outside looking for you. I told him you came in here to cool off. He was about to barge in here but I offered to bring it to you instead. I figured you didn’t need some grumpy defenseman in your space right now.” Her smile is kind as she waits for my permission to join in on the silent meeting Sadie and I have been having.

“Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Come in, come in.”

I’m feeling better now. Both physically and mentally. The cold air combined with getting off my feet has helped immensely.

Katie walks into the room and settles onto the armrest of Sadie’s chair. She hands over my drink without a word.

I take a long sip, savoring the sweetness of my drink. Electrolytes seem to help much more than water when I’m feeling faint and weak. If only I had a diagnosis and could get some freaking answers.

Sadie’s voice interrupts my thoughts. “You know, Katie is the team psychologist. She’d be an even better person to talk to than me. I can help with meditation and mindfulness, but this one actually has a degree in helping people.”

Finding a therapist has been on my to-do list since I left StLouis. I had a great one there until Bryan found out. He berated me and convinced me that therapy was just enabling my crazy thoughts, not helping. God, what type of woman gives in to a man like that?

A weak one.

Nope. Fuck that. I am not weak. I am strong. I left him and now I can work on myself without judgment.

Looking up at Katie, I see she’s already looking at me.

“When can we start?”

It’s been four months since the end of year barbecue, and Avery has haunted my dreams every night since. No matter how much meditation I do before bed, I can’t seem to keep her out of my head. We’ve barely seen each other since the season started. Her commentating job keeps her up in the booth, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t trying to bump into her. We’ve seen each other in passing, but that’s about it. And yet, she won’t leave my brain.

This isn’t the first time she’s invaded my dreams. She was a regular in them for years. But ever since that dreaded day at the church, I’ve somehow blocked her out. Call it self-preservation. Call it avoidance. I don’t care what you call it. I’ve done a fine job of keeping her beautiful face out of my dreams, until now. Until she walked into that party and turned my world upside down.

Avery Chamberlin is the new play-by-play announcer formy team.She’s also the one who got away.