Page 3 of Tethered

“I was lucky to have something to come out to. A lot of people don’t. I don’t think people realize how much can change, how much life goes on for those out here living it. Inside, the world stands still. Sure, we age, but everything else is in limbo. Andthen one day, you’re picked up and tossed back into the real world and just expected to adapt.”

“Same as being a soldier. They give you a gun and teach you how to kill a man, but they don’t teach you how to live with it. They don’t tell you what it looks like to see someone’s skull explode from the large caliber bullet you just fired into their head, or how rapidly the warm blood on your hands quickly turns cold—blood that was once inside your teammate’s body. I’ve seen rape houses and mass graves filled with women and children, and other things I can’t say out loud. But the second that uniform comes off, they expect you to leave the memories behind. But it just doesn’t work that way. I remember it all. God, I wish I didn’t.”

I slide my hand into his, careful of the canula, and lean my head back on his shoulder. “I’m sorry you went through all that. But I’m not sorry it led you to me.”

He kisses my head before resting his chin on the top of it. He’s quiet for a moment, and I feel my eyes getting heavy. You’d think I’d be full of energy after napping for as long and hard as I did, but apparently not.

“You want to tell me about what happened out there in your pasture? I know you, Opie. You weren’t sick.You aren’t sick. Your chart says as much.”

“You read my chart?”

“I was worried. I needed to know how to help you. If I needed to get the house adapted or something.”

“You felt helpless.”

“I felt fucking terrified. You wanna tell me so I can look after you better?” I open my mouth to deflect, but he growls. “Please don’t lie to me. Don’t tell me if you don’t want to, but please don’t lie to me.”

I sigh, squeezing his hand a little tighter. “I’m not ready yet. I’m sorry.”

“You’ll tell me one day?”

“One day, yes.”

“Okay.”

I relax at his tone. He doesn’t seem angry. Worried, perhaps, but who can blame him? Maybe I should just tell him. But when I open my mouth, I think back to all the stories I’ve read about the persecution of witches and snap it shut again. The problem is that Austin knows. And I don’t think he’s going to disappear anytime soon, not now that he’s randomly appeared back on the scene again. At some point, everything’s going to come out. I can’t trust him with a drink, let alone a secret. The last thing I need is him hanging around trying to dig his way into my life. I don’t have space for him. He’s nothing to me, just the brother of the boy who tormented and raped me.

And yet the betrayal I felt when I realized he’d drugged me was extreme. I never understood why. Hell, half the time I’m angrier at him than I am at Andy. Perhaps because Andy never pretended to be anything but the vile motherfucker he is. Austin, though, somehow, without even really trying, made me trust him, at least a little, in the short time I knew him. I felt protected in his presence. And that turned out to be the biggest lie of all.

“Want to tell me about Austin?”

I freeze, wondering if he can see inside my head.

“Did he hurt you?” Now his voice sounds rough. He turns me gently, sliding down so we’re face to face.

I sigh softly. I have to give him something, even if it’s just to make sure he keeps Austin away from me. “The day before I was arrested, my father had beaten me for something. I can’t remember what now. It’s not important. Anyway, the old sheriff was at my house, acting like nothing was amiss. And I just couldn’t handle it anymore, so I took myself off to town. I didn’t care how far away it was. I’d have walked ten miles if it got me away from home. Anyway, I planned to go to the clinic forstitches when I was knocked on my ass by my school bully. I hit my head pretty hard. And when the fog cleared, I was in Austin’s arms as he carried me into the clinic, barking orders about people treating me.”

“Does he work there?”

I snort and shake my head before remembering Riggs didn’t grow up here. “No. Austin was my bully’s brother. I guess he felt guilty about what happened. He got me patched up and then took me to his house to feed me and give me a little while to recuperate before having to go home and face my father again.”

“He knew what your dad was doing to you and did nothing?”

“Everyone knew, and nobody did anything but blame me. Why should Austin be any different? I knew he wasn’t a good man, though up to that point, he’d been good to me.”

“What did he do to you?” He grits his teeth.

“He drugged me.”

He sucks in a sharp breath.

“I was raped?—”

“He raped you!” he roars, moving to dive off the bed, but I stop him.

“No. I mean, I wasn’t sure at first if it was him or not, but no. He drugged me. But it wasn’t him who violated me. At least not in that way.”

He blinks, staring at me in confusion. “I don’t understand.”