Page 110 of Carter

“How are you doing?” Eileen asks as she passes me in the Horror section.

“I’m good.”

“Yeah,” she says with a nod. “Yeah, you are. Better than I’ve seen you.” She’s giving me a knowing look, like she knows I have something to say, so I just say it.

“I started seeing someone.”

“Really? Oh, that’s so good. I’m happy for you. Is it that man you brought in here with you? That big hunk of a man? Cop, right?”

I chuckle. “Yeah, that’s the one. It’s going well. After the stuff with Ryan, I honestly never thought I’d get here.”

“Some people surprise you.”

“Yeah, they do.”

She finds the book she’s looking for and goes back to her desk to work. Emails probably. Organizing. I’m not entirely sure. I’ve never asked. We’ve worked together for two years but we’ve never talked too much about personal stuff. She could tell I wanted to keep work and home separate and she respected that. But now it kind of makes me feel like a jerk, like maybe I should have tried harder in the beginning. In fact, I feel that way about a lot of people right now. Like Kane and some of the others at group. I’ve always kept my distance and everyone has always respected that, but… maybe they wanted a friend. Or maybe theyneededone.

Though, to be fair, I don’t think I could have been a good friend to anyone then. I’m not even great now. I’m doing better, but I’m not where I want to be. And I can’t let myself feel guilty over that. I had to set boundaries. I still need boundaries. We all do. I need to be easier on myself—otherwise, I’ll be right back where I was. I don’t want that. Ryan wouldn’t want that.

I do feel guilty for not asking about the case lately, but I need to stop that too. Nash will tell me when something needs to be shared. He’ll update me when he can. Hounding him over it won’t be good for anyone.

“Carter, why don’t you go take your last break?” Eileen says loud enough for me to hear.

I head back to the break room and grab a snack. We keep some stocked in here. Small things like granola bars and cookies. I sit on the couch and pull out my phone to text Nash.

Me: I miss you.

I send the text, then open up a game to keep me occupied while I take my break, but Nash texts me back right away. He must be taking a break too. Usually when he’s at work it takes him longer to answer me.

Nash: I miss you too, baby.

Nash: I was actually about to text you.

Me: About what?

Nash: Can you talk?

Me: Yeah, I have about ten minutes left of my break.

The call comes in right after I send the text.

“Hi,” I answer, loving that he’s thinking about me.

“I have some news.”

I sit up, my heart skipping a beat.

“About the case?”

“Yes. A lot has happened pretty quickly. We have enough for a warrant.”

“You do? Wait—that means—”

“We got him. Well, we’re pretty sure it’s him, but you know, there’s a whole process.”

My mind goes blank as my heart starts to race even faster. My body grows cold and warm all at the same time.

“You have him?” I whisper.