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She’d also read somewhere about the power of positive words to heal. She read one doctor had famously told a patient to repeat the words “every day in every way I’m getting better and better.” She wasn’t sure how much it would actually help but it couldn’t hurt. It truly lifted her mood when she chanted the phrase.
“Good. That’s good to hear. Now, tell me what’s on your mind,” he invited, and he shuffled some notes on his desk.
“Well, I’m still having those dreams.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. They had stopped for a while but then a few weeks ago, it was just terrible. I woke up in a sweat.”
“Why didn’t you call my office? You know we’re on call. If I’m not here, my answering service will pick up.”
“It was late at night. It wasn’t like I was having a crisis. It’s not like in the past. But it seemed so real.”
“Was there anything different in this dream?”
“No. Dr. Danye, why can’t I remember? I know we’ve been through this a lot but…I just can’t remember anything.”
“Maybe there isn’t anything to remember, Amber. You said you had blacked out.”
“I did. But…I wish there was something I could remember in order to help the case.”
“Help the case?”
“Yes. Oh, I forgot to mention. I just learned the police have reopened the investigation. I think a witness may have come forth after watching some cold case program on TV.”
“Oh? And how does that make you feel?”
That’s what she loved about Dr. Danye. He always asked how she felt. Of course he was paid hundreds of dollars an hour to ask but he genuinely cared.
“I don’t know.” Amber’s voice cracked ever so slightly. She turned her head to gaze out the window. The trees swayed and their green leaves rustled in the wind. It was a calming view of the hills outside. She loved living in Mayberry Hill and was glad Dr. Danye moved his office there from the bustle of the city with the noisy traffic and pollution. But she wasn’t feeling very calm right now. She could feel her blood pressure soar. Her body pumped on adrenaline. Amber rubbed her belly and had to remember to think positive thoughts for the sake of her little one. She didn’t want her baby to feel any of mommy’s distress. In fact, just this week, Jules lovingly chastised her for saying a not-so-nice word when she accidentally dropped a plate on the floor smashing it to pieces. “Not around the baby,” he said playing daddy. She smiled at the recollection.
Amber drew in a deep breath. “I don’t really want to talk about that right now, Dr. Danye. I…I can’t. I don’t know how I feel about the case reopening. I don’t know what leads they might or might not have and my aunt even told me, it won’t bring back my mom and dad anyway.”
“But don’t you want justice to be served? It could bring you closure.” He looked at her with concern from across the desk. Amber always thought before seeing a therapist that one had to lie on a couch and confess all her business to a man sitting with a clipboard on the side. But that image was nothing from reality that she was experiencing. She felt more like an interview. A business meeting with the therapist behind the large oak desk and she seated in a plush executive chair.
“Yes, of course, I want justice to be served but I also don’t know what it could do to me to face the past again.”
“Understood. It’s not easy to face that type of horrible reality, Amber. I’m here for you. Just remember that.”
She felt warmth creep over her but then she thought about the man in the waiting room. “There’s a guy in the waiting area. He’s wearing a long black trench coat and sunglasses and his hair is streaked with silver. He’s a patient of yours?”
Dr. Danye looked puzzled. He shook his head. “I don’t think so. Why?”
“Well,” Amber said, getting up. She went over to the door and opened it and peered out in the reception area in the distance. There were three people earlier but now there were two. An older woman and a young man. Trench coat guy was gone.
Amber’s heartbeat escalated in her chest.
“What is it, Amber? Are you all right?” Dr. Danye said behind her. He’d gotten up to see what she was looking at.
Amber walked back into the office. She didn’t know why she had done that. “I’m sorry,” she said, drawing in a deep breath. “I guess I’m getting a bit paranoid again. I thought…there was a guy…oh, nothing.”
She decided to let it go. Maybe he was waiting for someone. The waiting area served more than one specialist.
“He could have gone to see someone else here,” Dr. Danye suggested, his tone soothing. “Are you sure you’re okay, Amber?”
Dr. Danye was a psychologist and not a psychiatrist. One significant difference was that psychiatrists were medical doctors with advanced specialized training who could prescribe medication, whereas psychologists focused on therapy but were not licensed to prescribe drugs. Not that Amber would feel comfortable taking any meds in her condition for the sake of her unborn child. At least not if she didn’t have to.
“I…I’ll be fine, really,” she reassured him, sitting back down on the seat opposite him. “On the plus side, you remember when I told you I was feeling so lonely and alone?”
“Yes, go on.”
“Well, good news. I bumped into an old friend of mine. Well, an ex but we were good friends. He’s been nothing but helpful and supportive to me. I mean, especially considering that I’m a complex person with a whole lot of baggage under my belt. He’s made me feel special.”
“Oh, good. Glad to hear it, Amber. You deserve that.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Amber told the doctor about their chance meeting at her prenatal class and all they’d shared together during the past month. They’d practically picked up where they left off without missing a beat.
“That sounds like a true friend. When you can just pick up where you left off as if you’ve never spent time apart means you had something special to begin with. He seems like a really decent guy, Amber,” Dr. Danye assessed. He then paused briefly and scrutinized her expression. She was looking down at her hands. “I sense there is some apprehension there, Amber.”
“Well, there is. Sort of. He asked about the father of my child.”
The doctor looked up, face frozen. “And? What did you tell him?”
“I…I couldn’t tell him. I decided that I’m not going to tell anybody. There’s no law against it. The truth is, my baby’s father is out of the picture and has nothing to do with the child. So that’s that.”
“But if you want to start an honest and open relationship with this man, don’t you think he should know?”
“I suppose. But…I really don’t think I’m ready to mention anything yet. Maybe one day but definitely not now. I’ve been hurt badly in the past. Oh, God. The worst thing that could happen is that he wouldn’t understand. I don’t want to be judged. I’ve spent so much of my life—after the accident, being judged.”
“Fair enough, Amber. I’m sure if he cares about you the way you say he does he’d understand.”
Amber bit down on her lip, rubbing her belly protectively with all the love and warmth in her body. “I sure hope he does.”
* * *
“Well, somebody’s in a good mood,” Lucas called out to his brother Jules as he entered the study at Romero Manor. Jules was speaking with his grandfather Toni and their other brother Zack.
“Hey, Lucas,” Jules responded.
“Hey yourself, bro. Look at that cheesy grin on your face. You’ve been in a good mood lately and something tells me it’s not the new deal you landed with the family center.”
“Yeah. Very funny.” Jules looked out the French glass doors to the verdant garden and scenic hills outside with the panoramic view outside. Truth was, he was obsessing over Amber. Ever since they’d met up over a month ago, he would think of nothing else—even while in meetings and boardrooms.
“Well, why shouldn’t he be in a good mood?” Toni chimed in. “Venus told me all about you and Amber, Jules. That’s very good of you. I hope you two get back together, especially after that horrible boyfriend of hers left her with that baby she’s carrying.”
“Gramps!”
“What? Well, that’s why she’s been accompanying you to our family dinners lately, isn’t it? You two have something going, isn’t that right?”
“Toni,” Shelly chimed in. “Leave Jules alone. You’re always on about these boys being in a relationship.”
“Oh, not just any relationship, Shelly dear.”
And just like that, in unison, the entire group said at the same time, “It’s all about marriage. Marriage is the building block of a healthy relationship.”
Toni looked stunned and taken aback. He growled playfully under his breath. “That’s not funny.”
“No offense, Gramps, but you do sound like a broken record.”
“A broken record? There’s nothing broken about me here. I’ve never given up on finding true love after your dear grandmother passed away many years ago. It took me five tries but look how happy I am with dear Shelly. If I can do it in my late seventies, by God, what about you handsome, successful boys? Look at Antonio and Lucas and Zack and even your brother, the mayor, Carl. Come on now. You, Dion, Troy and Alonso need to get going. Life is too short to live alone. “
