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“You can tell how much the baby weighs?” Jules was stunned. He wasn’t a med specialist or anything, that would be his brother Alonso, but he was always in awe of medical science and the possibilities and amazing capabilities of technology.
“Yes, that’s right.” The woman continued to move the scanner around the abdomen. “We can tell a whole lot more, too, these days. “The crown to rump length of your baby is about fourteen inches, as you can see here.”
Jules could not believe this little precious miracle growing inside Amber and seeing a full color image of the fetus was breathtaking. Just as breathtaking as Amber looked in her awesomeness and expectant motherly glow. Seemed like those pregnancy hormones agreed with her.
After the session, the tech switched off the device and wiped down the scanner. She then offered Amber a paper towel to wipe the gel off her belly.
“I’ll take that,” Jules said, usurping the cloth from the tech. “Come here, baby, let me clean this gel off you.”
Amber’s look of surprise melted into a warm smile. “Thank you.”
“I’ll be right back,” the tech said. “I’m just going to get the doctor in to see you. If all is okay, I’m sure you’ll be able to go home soon.”
“Thank you,” Amber reiterated to the tech.
After the woman left the room, Jules couldn’t wait to turn to Amber. “Are you okay?” he said while cleaning off her delicate skin.
“Y-yes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me what was going on before?” he asked, as he carefully swabbed her belly to assure it was clean and dry. He assisted her in pulling her shirt down and covering up her exposed skin.
From what he could ascertain, from her stomach to her back and up to her rib cage were rife with horrific jagged scars and raised abrasions.
“What happened?”
“I didn’t want you to see what a mess I am before, Jules. It…it happened when-”
“Oh, God, Amber. I’m so sorry. When your parents…that accident…?”
She nodded. He didn’t need to probe any further. He wasn’t going to say anything more unless she did. He knew all too well the pain of losing a loved one. But it looked as if Amber lost a whole lot more. So much more.
Anger blazed through Jules like an erupting volcano yet he fought to simmer inside for Amber’s sake. He wanted to hunt down that son-of-a-bitch that did this to Amber—to her body.
Amber breathed in deeply and closed her eyes then opened them again. “It was hard for me to…get close to you, Jules. I loved you too much.”
“But why? Why did you keep this from me? You think I would have minded?”
“From the corner of my eye, I saw your look of surprise when the tech lifted up my shirt. I don’t blame you.”
“I was shocked. Yes. But not for the reasons you think, Amber. How could you have judged me that way?”
“Because I was afraid of being judged that way. Again.”
“Again?”
Amber swallowed hard. “Jules, you have no idea what I have been through as a child. I only told you some of the story. Yes, the crash that killed my parents left terrible physical scars on me but nothing compared to the emotional scar.”
“Emotional scar?”
“I was ostracized. Teased. Because…” she sat up on the stretcher and moved her long, dark hair to the side so he could see down her back. “The scars are everywhere and they don’t look pretty. Some folks said I should have seen a plastic surgeon, not a regular surgeon. But anyway, as a kid, do you know what my name was?”
“No.”
“Frankenstein or sometimes just the monster.”
Jules closed his eyes as he leaned against the wall, twisting his college ring on his finger, anger seething through him like acid. He wished he’d been there to defend Amber. He lowered his head. He tried hard not to feel her pain. But it was all too great. How crazy that she had to go through all that after losing her parents and her younger brother. He remembered the story she’d told him. They were driving home from the cottage when she was a girl. It was a cold, dark, fall night. A heavy downpour fell from the sky. They were hit by another car that sped off without stopping. The car swerved into a ditch, smashed into some trees and overturned. Amber was lucky to be pulled out alive. The others were not so fortunate. Her younger brother who was four at the time and her parents were both killed instantly.
No one ever located that other vehicle.
The wreck that claimed her family turned into another cold case for the police—an unsolved case.
And apparently that coward didn’t have a conscience to come forth. Amber suffered selective amnesia at the time and didn’t recall as a key witness who that other driver could be or what the other vehicle was, which was tragic in itself. That person would never be found.
How horrific for Amber. She’d gone through so much.
And to make matters worse, she’d been through several life-saving operations at the time. He hadn’t realized the scars were the result of surgeries from her scalp to her back and abdomen and upper thighs. No wonder Amber often dressed conservatively and covered up as much as she could. She’d been ostracized. Humiliated. Then she was forced to live with her estranged grandfather who had passed away and then she got bumped into living with her aunt who wasn’t even close with Amber’s parents to begin with.
“I’m really sorry you went through all that, Amber.” His voice was low, almost breaking with emotion. God, it killed him inside to know she’d been through so much hell. And she didn’t even let him know the full effects of that crash—until now.
So that’s why Amber always covered herself up while they dated.
She was so different from any other woman he’d been with in the past. It was his first platonic relationship with—a girlfriend. Come to think of it, there was a lot of firsts with Amber. She got him into this “try a platonic relationship for a change” line while they were dating saying she wanted to “take time” before getting intimate. Of course, that did nothing for his testosterone levels but he really was into Amber. They had so much more in common. It nearly killed him not to be inside her at the time, but he really got a chance to get inside her mind, her heart and her soul. Especially, her heart of gold. She put her neck on the line for his sister-in-law Venus and his brother Carl. Who could forget that?
Still, he had to remember he told her he wasn’t ready to commit to her then so how could he expect them to stay together very long when getting married was what she wanted then?
“I know it’s hard for you to understand right now, Jules. I know you’re a caring, a kind guy. I really enjoyed spending time with you. I just didn’t want you to see how I look underneath my clothes.”
“So that’s why you didn’t want to be intimate with me?”
Amber was beautiful. Scars or no scars.
She recomposed herself. “I’m fine. I’ll be fine. I just thought I wasn’t good enough. And you said you weren’t ready for commitment back then. I later met someone else who said he was ready to commit to a serious relationship. He turned out to be cruel and told me no man would want me and that he was doing me a favour by being with me. I left him faster than you could say YOU’RE FIRED!”
“Not before you....” He gestured to her baby bump.
“When I met Rex I thought maybe I would have a chance to have a family. But…well, it didn’t work out with him. And now, here I am, single—and with a baby.”
“It’s okay, Amber. We all have scars.”
“Not everyone.”
“Oh, don’t kid yourself, Amber. Most people have psychological scars even if they don’t admit it. The truth is, nobody is perfect, Amber. None of us. And love means loving a person in spite of his or her faults because we all have them, maybe not the same ones but we all have them.” He looked deeply into her eyes and she wrapped her hand around his waist and hugged him. He felt her sweet energy transfer to his body and he reacted.
“Amber, I want to be here for you and your daughter. Please let me.”
“Jules. I can’t ask you to-”
“You’re not asking, I want to be here with you.” Oh, boy. Jules was digging himself deeper and deeper. He needed to be focusing his energies on his new acquisition but why didn’t that seem like the most important thing to him right now? Why was his heart pulling in the direction of the beautiful, kind-hearted woman who dumped him?
Heck, it wasn’t even his kid and already he felt protective of the little miracle and more protective of Amber.
“Besides, I had a little accident a while back and well…” Jules said.
“An accident? Oh my God! Were you hurt?”
“Actually, yeah, it’s complicated, too.”
“Complicated?”
“Yeah,” he hesitated. But deep down inside, he really wanted her to know. “Amber, I sustained some pretty serious injuries. I’m healthy and well but…well, doc said there was some damage done to the area near my vas deferens, the muscular tube that connects my…”
“Oh, God! Jules, I’m so very sorry to hear.”
“It’s okay. I’m a survivor. I just don’t know if I’ll ever have any survivors if you know what I mean.”
