Page 33 of Chasing Hope

Matteo just cocks his head. “Clearly not.”

Huffing, I cross my arms over my chest, cocking my hip. “Sometimes women don’t want the obvious pointed out to them, Valenti. Did you ever think of that?”

“No.”

“Of course you didn’t. You’re as direct as a fucking train.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

I jut out an accusatory finger at him. “Point proven.”

He holds up his hands in surrender. “Just let me run behind you. You won’t even know I’m there.”

“Have you seen yourself? You’re like a walking skyscraper. For fuck’s sake, you have to lean sideways to walk through doorways.”

His lips twitch and suddenly the tension between us explodes from a small ember into a full-blown bush fire.

“I promise I’ll keep my distance. It’s purely for safety purposes. There’s a lot of creeps in the city.”

Rolling my eyes, I turn my back on him just to give myself a moment to breathe without those knowing eyes piercing mine. Matteo sees far too much and my heart likes it a little more than I’d ever care to admit out loud.

“Fine, you could use the exercise anyway,” I tease, trying to get back to our normal friendly banter. Although, now that I think about it, maybe we’ve always danced the line of flirting instead of good-natured teasing.

There’s a snort behind me before Matteo’s deep drawl snakes down my spine. “Give me five minutes.”

I think I need more than five minutes to stop picturing Matteo Valenti smirking at me in the bedroom doorway in nothing but gray sweatpants.

Did I forget to mention that I had to spend the whole time trying not to look at his bare chest?

My lungs are burning, sweat is dripping down my temple, my legs are shaking, and I stopped feeling my toes two miles ago.

There’s no doubt in my mind I look like a baby giraffe finding their footing and yet…I feel like I’m flying. The wind flows through my sweat-slicked hair, the crisp morning air is kissing my skin, and there’s a high rushing through my bloodstream making me feel alive for the first time inmonths. Any time a memory or an image pops into my mind, I push myself to run faster and it’s left behind me like garbage waiting to be collected on trash day.

True to his word, I haven’t seen Matteo since I took off from his apartment. For all I know, he isn’t even running behind me, but I know he is. That invisible string tethering me to him pulls, tugging, urging us to remain close.

Matteo and I have always moved languidly around each other. Like a river flowing in harmony. Even it weren’t for this feeling, I’d know he’s behind me just by the eyes I feel burning into my skin.

It’s the only gaze that hasn’t made my skin crawl in the past eleven months, the only eyes that I don’t feel uncomfortable looking into, the only ones that I findwantingto see me…to see everything.

At first, I thought it was the familiarity of growing up with Matteo, of knowing him as well as I know myself, but it’s different this time around. The energy between us is more charged but I can’t put my finger on why.

Everything between us is normal, despite the situation. Matteo still presses my buttons, loving to get a reaction out of me, and I love running my mouth off to him, even though right now it’s a little less than usual.

And yet, I can feel it. There’s an undercurrent, one that has always been there, one that I’ve had to shove aside, because if Iever jumped in headfirst, I’d get swept away and drown in its intensity.

Except this time, it’s beckoning me, the pull so strong I don’t think I can continue to ignore it.

But I have to.

Because it’s what we’ve always done.

And besides, even if I didn’t want to ignore it, something tells me losing Matteo would be the one thing that would destroy me. Not what I remembered eleven months ago, not losing my best friend, not my job, not my ex-boyfriend…Matteo.

Losing him would feel like losing a part of myself, and I don’t have a lot to give as is. If I lost him, I’d be left with nothing and float away into the depthless pit of the universe, waiting aimlessly for him to find me.

Chapter 10

Matteo