Page 9 of Rejected Alpha Mate

What a jerk!

“Ugh!” I groan, blowing out a frustrated breath through puckered lips as I sink my head between two pillows, fists pounding against the lush covers on either side of me.

I feel as pathetic as I must look, but at least no one is around to see me in this state. My arms flail in the air, and I kick my legs like an insolent child throwing a tantrum because I didn’t get enough candy today.

It’s not like I want any candy from him, anyway!

Not after what he did last summer. Back then, I was so blissfully unaware of how heartbreak could disrupt someone’s life. I’d never known pain of that magnitude until I met Nicholas Barlalow and lost myself in his forest-green eyes.

Those eyes were a trap, and I fell into that rabbit hole; it took me almost the whole year to crawl out. Every step I’ve taken since then is careful, cautious, my jaded heart refusing to become a victim like that ever again.

No one knows what it’s like to be rejected until they’ve experienced it. I had no idea until it happened to me. Cecelia once told me what happened between her and my brother when he rejected her before leaving for black ops, and all I could do was empathize with her and offer her advice.

But they were meant for each other, and my brother is nothing like the self-centered, arrogant Nicholas. He did what I knew he would, and he stepped up and became the man who deserves to be with my best friend.

I was stupid enough to fall for the wrong guy, because there’s no redemption for a man like Nicholas. The first time I met him, I saw that cocksure glint in his eyes. That should have been enough of a warning sign to stay away, but he was so charming—oh, so very charming and cunning—that I’d ignored the red flags and fell hard.

But falling as hard as that also means the impact is harder, and the crash sent fragments of my heart scattering into pieces I’m still picking up to this day.

I sigh heavily and press my eyes shut against the moisture threatening to overwhelm me, willing myself to stop thinking about him and fall asleep instead. But just as I take a deep breath to calm my nerves, those very nerves are ignited with awareness when my lungs fill with the fresh scent of wood and spices, with a hint of lavender that’s almost missable without recognition.

Nicholas….

My body naturally responds to his scent as I sit upright, throwing my legs off the bed and drifting toward it as if it beckons to me. Mindlessly, I walk to the door of the lavish tent, my heart slowing down when I’m an inch away.

Behind the door, I can hear him breathing, and my own breath catches in my throat, my heart skipping a beat. When it pulses again, sensations spread through my body, goosebumps erupting on the flesh of my arms.

I snap my thighs shut, appalled by the natural response to Nicholas’s closeness, even with the tent separating us. I gasp in horror, my fingertips tingling in the same way they used to whenever I touched him.

I hate that he still has this effect on me, and I clench my hands into tight fists, not wanting to feel the effects of breathing in his scent.

I thought I’d made myself strong enough to combat my feelings, but maybe I was wrong.

Maybe I need to be stronger.

The only feeling more powerful than this one is my hatred for him—raw, undiluted anger that burns from the core of my being, sparked the moment he rejected me in Wells.

Clinging to that hatred with every fiber of my resolve, I pull myself together, crawl out of the fog I almost lost myself in, and head back to bed. I’m not going to let him get to me like this. I’m not going to care that he’s outside, hanging near my tent for whatever reason. I don’t care.

My body, on the other hand, is wildly out of sync with my hatred for Nicholas, little flickers of electric awareness pulsing through my veins and crawling beneath my flesh as if vying for my attention.

I slip into bed, burying myself in a cocoon between the pillows and sheets and covering my head to make it go away—to make this feeling go away. I can’t stand his existence anymore, and I can’t wait to get as far away from him as possible.

“Tomorrow…” I whisper to myself with reassurance. “Tomorrow is another day…tomorrow I’ll leave….”

I repeat the reassuring words to myself until I’m calmer, until the sensations subside and nearly disappear. Only a dull ache remains, but I close my eyes and allow that feeling to drag me into the void of sleep. That’s the safest place for me to be tonight, far from Nicholas, far from pain.

***

“...that’s why Cece and I decided to visit my friends. As the newly appointed alpha, I want to strengthen ties with all the packs who joined forces for black ops,” Dominic continues, explaining our visit to Nicholas while we’re seated around the dinner table.

“I’ll take any excuse for my best friend to visit me,” Nicholas winks at Dominic, turning back to his dinner plate.

But not before stealing a glance at me.

My heart flutters, and I look down at my plate, frowning as I reach for my wine glass.

What the hell is going on? Why am I feeling so skittish? Under the table, I’m kicking my legs like a kid on a swing, ready to take flight in the air.