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Chapter One
Haley
It was official. I sucked. I sucked at sucking. And no doubt at sex itself. But definitely at sucking, if my friend’s faces were to be believed as I attempted to give a wine bottle a blow job.
“Oh, hell, Hayley. It is a blow job, not a bunch of fresh flesh at a zombie party.” Noted my roommate Kayla.
My face fell. “See. I told you.” Being crap at coitus was no joke.
“Let me get my own situation sorted and then, Haley, I will teach you. We can use a dildo or a banana. Whichever. I will show you how to do a BJ right.”
“Thank you.”
“And I will tell you all about the birds and the bees. See if you are doing that right.” Tiff, my ex-roommate and now next-door-neighbor added.
At that point, a knock came at the door. Kayla’s mom had come to see her about a tense situation she had just left. Kayla had come over tonight from her ex-stepfather’s house because she had started a relationship with him and a guy called Parker, her mom’s new stepson. Here I was with no man in my life and Kayla had two!
Tiffany returned to the living room. Monday night was girl’s night. Even though she now lived next door with her husband, Brandon, Monday’s remained a man-free zone, rather like my pussy. “I hope they are going to be alright,” Tiff stated nodding towards the hallway. Kayla and her mom did not have a great history.
I shrugged my shoulders. Kayla’s mom had just walked into Daniel, Kayla’s stepfather’s home to find her, Daniel and Parker in the throes of passion. “Well, we are here if not.”
Kayla worked things out with her mom, and then also with Daniel and Parker, and the three of them were cohabiting in Port Jeff. Kayla had given notice on her share of the apartment and so this evening, her and Tiff were coming over to help me interview potential new roommates. I had jokingly said I wanted two hot males, but to be honest, as long as the newbies didn’t look like serial killers or other such weirdos, I would be happy. Good references were key to getting a key. My apartment had three bedrooms. Mine, at the front, had an en-suite. It overlooked the parking lot for the apartments but beyond that and the street, there were nice views. We had all worked for Green’s, a Realtors based in Brooklyn. Kayla had now left to join in with Daniel’s art business. He was an artist and owned a gallery and was looking to expand. Tiff still worked at Green’s but was planning on trying for a baby with her husband so I didn’t know what her long term plans were. I felt like the only one of us with no life. Maybe I should ask all the apartment applicants if they were boy friendless and downbeat? Make sure we had common ground. I tried to shake the melancholy hanging over me. I was pleased my friends were both in love, and as they kept on telling me, it would happen for me too, one day. In the meantime, I needed to get better at sex. I figured if I watched some porn that could help. Though Kayla and Tiff had promised to help they were just too busy getting on with their own lives. Anyhow, they didn’t have dicks. I kinda needed the real thing to practice on. I wondered about paying for a male escort, that was how bad things were getting.
Out of the three of us girls, I was by far the most innocent. Through college, I had dated Liam and he had been the guy to take my cherry. I had thought we were good together but once we graduated, he graduated onto another girl. We had hardly ever had oral. He said he didn’t like it, either the giving or receiving, so it wasn’t until I started dating other guys that it all went wrong. I had not got past first base with many dates. I always got shy and clammed up. Having no idea what to converse about other than my friends and work, most dates didn’t progress to a second. A couple times things had gone to the bedroom, it had been a disaster. My pussy was so dry men couldn’t get near it. My latest date, another Realtor from Green’s, Malcolm, blamed me for the fact he had not been able to get it up. My only real joy came from my other best friend, B.O.B., that’s right, my battery operated boyfriend who never let me down. He was a bendable rabbit vibrator who I could position to hit my clit and my pussy at the same time.
I noticed the time and realized I needed a final flurry of domestic activity. The two bedrooms down the hall were where the two new roommates would be and there was a shared bathroom for them to use. Both rooms had been given a fresh lick of paint last week and thoroughly cleaned and aired. Each had a queen-sized bed, fitted closet space, and a dresser. A TV was fixed to a wall in each, so they’d be able to escape to their rooms if they wanted each night. Butterflies hit my gut followed by a feeling of dread. What if they seemed nice so I gave them a key and then we didn’t get on at all? I shook my head and went through to my ensuite to shower before the girls arrived. We were having pizza after the interviews, so I grabbed some chips to eat before I hit the shower. It was a shame I couldn’t afford the apartment on my own. Peace and quiet could be nice at times and at least there would be no more witnesses to my dating disasters. By tonight I might have one or two new roommates. I crossed my fingers, closed my eyes and said pretty please.
“I am so freaking hungry. How long is this gonna take?” Kayla moaned. The redhead patted her svelte stomach and it emitted a gurgle.
“Yeah? Well, I might have had more sympathy if your hair didn’t look all fucked up. You have had sex before you came here haven’t you?”
“Might have.” Kayla winked.
There was a noise from the vicinity of the unlocked front door, followed by a flurry of footsteps. “I’m not late. There’s one minute to 6:00 pm,” Tiff announced like I hadn’t been checking my wristwatch every thirty seconds since 5:00 pm.
