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Her words destroyed me.
“We've done nothing yet but go on dates, but I want to. This was fun, but I realize I’m being stupid. I thought being with you would make me feel young, but it doesn’t. I feel older than ever.”
“Don’t do this, Gabby.”
“They’re going to write Jaxson into the show, and I heard they are getting Cynthia for you. She’d be good for you, someone your own age.”
I trailed my hand up her thigh. “Do you mean you don’t want this anymore?” I whispered in her ear as my fingers dipped under the edge of her panties making her moan.
Her hand gripped my face. “Jayden, we had fun, but now it’s over.”
I smashed my lips into hers and for a brief moment she kissed me back, and then I felt her freeze. At the moment she stopped me, putting a hand up on my shoulder showing me her answer was still no, that we were done, a blinding flash went off in our faces. My lips were still on hers, my hand was still under her panties.
It destroyed everything. We were kicked off the show. It wasn’t true that there was no such thing as bad publicity. The story of me and Gabby was overshadowing the show and so we were moved on, for other people to take our places. My mother was incensed at losing her job when to her clearly I was innocent and had been taken advantage of. She told me to carry on exactly how I had been, to continue partying but to try to keep to women my own age, and then she moved onto movies and won an Oscar for her producing. A great big fuck-you to a show that ended after we left because viewers wanted the gossip, and mine and Gabby’s lives were now in the ‘Hello’ magazines of the world and not on screen. Viewers were fickle like that.
I couldn’t regret it. The woman had taught me a lot, but the aftermath had been me playing up for the press and not doing a great deal in my own right. Which led me to my current dissatisfaction.
I needed to find something I could get invested in. Some good I could do, or some talent I could exploit, like Flynn’s photography. But I didn’t think I had any talent.
Walking into the bedroom I stripped off and looked at my gym-honed body in the mirror. What about modeling? I pulled a face at myself. Jeez, I couldn’t deal with any more fake shit and that came in spades… unless…
I picked up my cell and dialed a number.
“Hey, Dad. Can you help me with something?”
11
Serena
I caught a cab back to the hotel with my cases. They were surprisingly light after my thoroughness with getting rid of my past. I knocked on the internal door between our rooms but as expected there was no response. Flynn’s meeting with the committee would be in full flow.
I made a coffee and sat at the hotel room desk where I switched on my laptop and went through the emails that had come through while I’d been to my old home. There was one from my old office. I clicked through and read the information.
Hey Serena
Great to hear from you! Don’t be a stranger just because you’re ‘busy’ with those hot guys ;)
So I looked up Vern Johnson and here’s the information I found. He just seems a very ordinary guy, but I’ll leave it to you to exploit his weaknesses and find out the truth if there is any!
Fran xo
I read the beginning of the email again before I allowed my eyes to go any further. ‘Exploit his weaknesses’. That’s what I was known for. That was the person I had become. Before I’d met my four lovers and they’d begun to show me a new way. One where I allowed myself to experience love. At that point my heart panged for the fact I wasn’t with the others. A couple more days and I’d be back home. Then we could talk about Carter’s exuberance. I hoped I’d marry them one day. I just had to ask him to bear with me.
I carried on reading.
Vern Johnson - born March 16, 1968
There was information about his parents, his education. Nothing of any real interest to me.
He’d been married in 2001 and divorced in 2012 with no children from the marriage.
He owned a bookstore in Brooklyn called Magic Words. Now, maybe I was onto something. It was time to catch a cab and go see what I found.
The bookstore was a narrow building on 3rd Avenue. A small faded sign hung outside and in the window were a couple posters for writers who were going to be there in the future. I pushed through the door, the smell of old books hitting me. The books were piled high, the racks tight together. At the far end I could just make out a couple of circular tables and chairs.
I’d known I’d probably see Vern but what I hadn’t expected was to be so struck by recognition.
“S-S-Serena?” He clutched a hand to his chest as if he might have a cardiac arrest there and then. “I didn’t expect you to come. I thought at the most you might call.” He forehead crinkled, his eyes taking me in as if he wanted to drink up every part of me in case I disappeared.
