Page 17 of Ruck Me Harder

“Do you know him?” Vanessa cuts in.

Wincing, I admit: “He’s my teammate’s brother.”

Ceci cackles so loudly, heads turn in our direction.

Including his.

Tony’s eyes go wide and a slow smirk spreads over his face. It shouldn’t make him look even more attractive, but unfortunately for me, it does. My stomach flutters and my core throbs.

“Great. I just want to die now,” I snap, running my hand through my hair. It’s one of the rare occasions it’s not tied up in a ponytail or messy bun. For once, I’m not wearing leggings, either; I put on real pants and a real bra to come to this meetup.

“Do we like him?” Sadie asks. “Or do we hate him?”

“Hate,” I mutter. The weight of his powerful gaze is still on me. I can’t get away from it. My spine itches under his scrutiny.

“Why do we hate your teammate’s brother?” Van asks.

With a sigh, I scrub my hands over my face. “Because I met him first. Three years ago.” When they don’t react, I whisper. “Biblically.”

“Damn, girl,” Ceci says. She lifts her hand for a high five. “He looks like the kind to give it to you good.”

I’m already in hell. So why not tell them the truth?

They’re all aware I’m sober, that it’s from an awful experience I haven’t wanted to talk about. I’m sure they’ll support me unconditionally and they won’t spread my secrets.

So why is my stomach churning? I break out into a sweat and have to take a few more deep breaths.

“That night was the last time I drank alcohol. Haven’t touched a drop since.”

“Shit, girl,” Sadie says, shaking her head. She reaches out and squeezes my hand. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Did he…” Rachel pauses. “Was it all consensual?”

Wincing, I nod. “Yeah. He didn’t drug me or anything. I was into it, from what I remember. I just… didn’t like the way I woke up. Or how I felt when I did.”

“That’s perfectly understandable,” Van says. She reaches across and takes my hand. “Thank you for sharing with us. It means a lot. We don’t take it lightly.”

Tears spring to my eyes. It’s so sudden and out of character, I don’t know what to do.

Rachel gets out of her chair and walks around the table, wrapping me in a hug. “Oh, babe.”

“I’m fine. It’s fine,” I mutter, wiping at my eyes.

“It’s okay to not be okay,” Sadie says seriously. “That was a big thing to share. A big thing to keep buried deep.”

“I’m over it,” I lie. I’m definitely not. I thought I was, I’d buried it down deep enough but seeing him again has only proven that I’ve never actually dealt with it.

“We need food,” Ceci declares. “If we’re going to spy on this super hot guy we hate, we need snacks.”

Forcing a laugh, I wipe away the last remnants of my tears. “I’ll get it. One of everything, right?” That’s our usual M.O. when we get together.

Ceci tries to hand over her card, but I wave it away. I don’t have her kind of money, but I can treat my friends to bar snacks.

On shaky legs, I make my way to the bar and squeeze into an empty spot. Even though I don’t need it, I pick up a menu and pretend like I’m not hiding out.

Why is he here? Of all the bars in the city, he picks the one where I am. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he has a tracking beacon installed in my shoe. Except, one, when would he have been able to do that, and two, why would he even care?