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“Ouch. I’ve certainly been made aware of that many times in my life, H. Thanks very much for the reminder.”
She called me H, no doubt an insult to the years post-Vee. She hopped down off the stool. As she walked past me I grabbed her shoulder.
“I didn’t mean it like that, Amelia. What I meant was, what is the point of trying to see if you like the career path Vee liked? Why not do what you want to do? You must have a passion of your own.”
“Yes. I want to be a mom. I want to have babies. That’s my passion.”
I flinched.
“But you kind of need a man in your life for families, and I’ve only ever met complete jerks.” She stared me directly in the eyes. “I know you’re not ready to talk about Vee, Henry. But I’m trying to gain some closure on what happened to my sister. I’m sick of living under a dark cloud about it all. I’m not dead. Everyone wants me to live half a life. I’m going to give this job my utter attention and professionalism. I owe it to my sister to carry on her dream, just like you’ve been doing. No more holding that burden all on your own, Henry. I’m here whether you like it or not.”
“Please sit back down, Amelia, and finish your meal.”
She reversed and sat back on her stool. “I don’t know how long I’ll stay in the post, but I’ll make a difference while I’m there, and I’ll stay to fully train someone else if I leave.”
“You start tomorrow. There’ll be no cooked breakfast. You’ll meet me in my office at eight am sharp. I won’t go lightly on you because you’re family. You’ve a job to do. I need an assistant. I’m too busy. There’ll be early starts and late finishes. I’m a workaholic. It’s what’s kept me going over the years. I kept the property business going as it was what Vee and I developed together. But I’m considering my future and whether I’m staying in business. So we turn up, do our best work then go home and take one day at a time. If there’s one thing I learned from what happened with Vee, there’s no guarantee of the future, so I live in the moment.”
“Don’t you want to remarry, Henry? Have a family someday?”
“And risk it happening all over again?”
“The chances of a future wife having a brain tumor must be the same as those of a lottery win, surely?”
“Leave it, Amelia.”
“Don’t you want children?” She repeated.
“Yes I wanted children.” I finally exploded. “But when you lose a son in the womb, along with your wife, that kind of fucks things up a little. It’s better to be who I am. Dead inside. I can’t get hurt again that way.”
“Wh-what do you mean, Henry? When did you lose a child?”
I looked at Amelia in horror. Her face was pale and her lips trembled.”
“Vee was pregnant. Surely you knew that? She was four and a half months along.”
Amelia shook her head. “I don’t remember that, Henry. Did she tell me that? Did I know? Have I blocked it out?”
I shook my head. “I can’t answer that. I don’t know.”
“She would have told me she was having a baby, wouldn’t she? I’d have been so excited to get a baby niece or nephew. There has to be some explanation. There has to be.” She let out a squeal of anguish. “You lost your wife and a son. Your future. I’m so sorry, Henry. So, so sorry.”
I got down from my stool and wrapped my arms around her as she cried on my shoulder. She cried for me and what I’d lost as well as for the confusion she’d grown up with.
At that point I wished she’d never come here, but I held on to her just the same until she stopped.
I backed away from her.
“I’m not going to the gym, Amelia. I’m going to head off to a bar for an hour. It’s been a bit heavy. Why don’t you go lie down in your room and we’ll talk some more tomorrow? I’ll see you in the office at eight.”
“Okay.” She sniffed and left the room.
I changed my shirt, which was wet from her tears, and I drove to the club.
At the bar I downed three scotches in quick succession, and then I looked in all the rooms. I found one where a woman was in the room alone wearing a mask. Her bracelet was black with silver stars meaning she wanted to play. I guessed someone had just left her. She was lying on the bed, her legs open while her own hand strummed her clit. I went over to the bed and took over. I played with her pussy until she was on the brink of orgasm and then I turned her over onto all fours and I plunged my cock deep inside her. She groaned, whether with passion or faking it, I didn’t give a damn. I thrust into her, pent up rage making me rough. I pinched her nipples hard with one hand while my other fisted in her hair, holding her in place as I thrust into her again and again until she climaxed around my cock. I turned her over again to face me and pulled her mask up until her mouth was uncovered and then I jerked off until my hot sticky cum spurted and hit her mouth and chin. I didn’t stay to help her clean up. I felt both satisfied and unsatisfied as I moved away from the bed. I cleaned myself up and went back to the bar.
Sometimes I felt it was so much easier for those who died than those left behind. My oblivion was short lived. Alcohol wore off.
Chapter 5
