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He shook his head vehemently. “You’re seventeen, Candy.”
“I’m eighteen in eight days.” I pleaded with him. “This can’t be wrong; it felt too right.”
But it was too late, the shutters came down across Parker’s face, and he rushed towards his belongings.
“I’m sorry, again, Candy.”
“Tell me you don’t have feelings for me,” I demanded.
He shrugged. “It wouldn’t make any difference. I’m your teacher. I can’t give you extra tutoring any more, Candy. It’s not appropriate. You don’t need it anyway, its more than obvious that you are amazing in English. You’ll make one hell of a teacher or a novelist. I trust whichever path you take you’ll excel. I’ll still see you in English but please don’t make this any more difficult for me than it already is. Date Julian. He’s your age. He’s what you need.”
“You’re what I need.” Frustration made a tear slip from the corner of my eye.
He shook his head again. “I’m not. Now please leave.”
I gathered up my belongings. Parker indicated my top, and I realized my bra was visible. I hastily pulled up my top, and then I ran from the classroom straight to the nearest bathroom where I locked myself in a stall and cried until I was heaving with dry sobs.
After a while, I realized that I needed to get home. I washed my face and reapplied my make up to disguise my puffy red eyes as best as I could. I pushed the bathroom door open slightly and peered around to make sure he wasn’t nearby and then I went home. I faked a headache and asked for dinner to be sent to my room. My parents were going out anyway, so they didn’t check up on me. I spent my evening tormenting myself as I replayed what repeatedly happened in my mind. He kissed me. I touched my fingertips to my lips. He felt my breast. I climbed into bed, closed my eyes and imagined the whole thing again, but let my imagination take it further as I used my hands. I imagined his touch between my legs, and it brought me to an orgasm. When I came again, shame, regret, and devastation flooded my senses. What if he never touched me again? I don’t think I could bear it. I cried myself to sleep.
I woke and slowly the events of the evening before washed over me. The fact it was the last day of the school week was reassuring. If I could just survive the day, then I had the weekend to think things over. Then I remembered it was the double date. Good, I thought. Maybe I’d have fun with Julian and thoughts of Parker Newell would disappear from my mind. I got out of bed with renewed vigor. I would look fabulous. If Parker saw me, he would think I was unaffected by what he’d done. It was time to move on. My eighteenth birthday was approaching, and it was a time for celebration, not to be miserable.
I fixed my hair in a ponytail which swung as I moved and I wore a cute top decorated with pink love hearts and a pair of cream cut offs.
“Hey, Lar, Jeff.” I greeted my friends at the curb. “You still on for the date tonight?”
“Yeah. As long as it’s Guardians of the Galaxy,” Jeff said. “I’m not watching any of that girly stuff.”
“Guardians sound good,” I said, as Larissa and I gave each other a look that we knew meant that even if the film were utter garbage it had Chris Pratt in it, so we’d enjoy it anyway.
“So, movie, then Surf Shack?” Jeff checked.
“Yeah, baby. I love a good old surf n turf.” Larissa rubbed her stomach. “I’ll be glad when your party is out of the way, honey so that I can eat properly again.”
“You girls. Dieting to fit in dresses. Crazy.” Jeff said.
“You say that but would you still want me if I was huge?” Larissa asked.
“Yeah, I’d dive into your doughy flesh and never come up for air.” He replied.
We laughed. Then I sat back in the car and watched the two of them. They were so in love. I bit my lip hard to stop a tear from forming.
The movie was fantastic and eased me into our date. I’d seen nothing of Parker all day which had both disappointed me and made me feel relieved. We’d sat in the cinema: Jeff, Larissa, me and then Julian. Julian had bought both of us a drink and some popcorn to share and other than the odd bit of general conversation we’d just watched the movie. On the way out and as we walked to the Surf Shack, he’d taken hold of my hand. I’d let him. It felt nice. He sat alongside me in our booth, opposite the others and again in between food arriving he kept holding my hand.
“This time next week we’ll all be at your party, Candy. I don’t think we
’ll be as comfortable then.” Larissa said.
“No.” I sighed. “We’ll be in dresses we can barely breathe in, while our every movement is watched by our parents.”
“Ah shoot, do I have to wear a suit?” Jeff joked, who I knew had it all ready to go.
“We’ve got to accompany these fine women and complement their outfits. What color is your dress, by the way, so I can get a tie to match?” Julian asked.
“Silver,” I told him. “So, silver or grey will do.” I turned to him. “You do know that my parents, especially my mother will have me mingle with every guest, so I’ll be lucky if I get to spend much time with my actual friends.”
Larissa looked at me; her face a world of understanding. It was how the upper east side worked. My mother may as well put me on the top of a huge cake. I was just a display.
“We’ll make time.” She reassured me.
