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"Then let's do it," Kaylin said. "Get ready to walk into the shadows. It's a cold, dark journey, and there's nothing quite like it in the world."
Chapter 16
"You'll have to lie in my arms," Kaylin said. When I stared at him, a faint grin on my face, he shook his head, his dark hair swinging around his shoulders. "No, it's nothing like that. I need to be holding you in order to help you shift over with me."
"I kind of thought that's what you meant." I decided not to make him blush any more than he was. If we weren't in the situation we were in, it might be fun to make him blush but I reined in that thought for later.
Kaylin lay down on the ground, on his back. He held his arm out and I snuggled against him. It was an odd feeling, cuddling up against a strange man. But somehow, he felt comfortable and safe and I actually relaxed as he rolled over to face me and wrap his other arm around my shoulders, too.
"Don't be frightened," he said, his breath warm and minty against my face. "First, you'll feel a shimmering inside your body--I can't explain it, but like . . . like . . . when you see the lines fluttering on the TV--bad reception. Then you'll feel like you're starting to float. Keep calm. I'll have hold of you; I won't let anything happen."
I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, closing my eyes. I wasn't sure I was ready to see my body turn to vapor. Or shadow. Or anything resembling a nonsolid gas. I could deal with the concept, but to actually witness it might be more than I was up for.
"Keep breathing," Kaylin said. "Don't hold your breath. When we're dreamwalking we don't need to breathe so try not to panic if you notice you're not." He paused. "I still don't think this is such a great idea but here we go. Ready?"
I nodded, forcing myself to inhale-exhale as though I had just laid down to take a nap. Kaylin began to chant, something low and deep and almost out of the range of my hearing. Within seconds, he went from being a geeky cute goth guy to radiating a power that felt far, far older than me. I fought to keep my eyes closed, wanting to look at him.
And then, my body started to melt.
It began at someplace in my third chakra--just above my solar plexus. A wave of water ran through me, emanating from that one spot, undulating through muscle and bone, blood and vein, like concentric ripples on a pond. My body was melting like liquid silver, like the Wicked Witch of the West, like the second Terminator dissembling.
Keep calm, focus on the feeling of Kaylin's arms around you.
But Kaylin's arms were melting, too, mingling with the quivering pool that was my body. We were separate and yet linked, blending and yet two distinct beings. And then, the rippling spread out to my hands and feet, fingers and toes, and my flesh swelled and fell away as I felt myself diffuse and spread out. That was all it took for panic to set in.
What's happening? I'm breaking up!
Calm yourself. Kaylin's whispering thoughts found their way into mine. As long as I brought you across, I can communicate with you. You're fine. This is just the process of becoming shadow. Only another minute or two and we'll be fully on the astral.
A gentle breeze blew over my melting form. And I am here.
Instead of hearing Ulean's voice on the wind, it rang through my . . . head? Mind, I suppose. Instinct taking over, I tried to breathe but there was no breath, no air to comfort me. Reeling, I turned head over heels, lost in the pull of the astral current that rose up to surround us.
I can't breathe!
You don't need to. Don't think about it. Focus on my voice. Focus on your senses--can you see anything?
See anything? I didn't have eyes--wait. There was a light. Maybe just the sensation of light, but somehow I was aware of it. And then, I felt something shift and realized I'd just blinked. I glanced down and saw myself in silhouette, a shadow against the astral world in which we were standing. It was me, but in smoke and vapor, without distinct features. I held up my hands in wonder.
"I look like . . . wow . . . I'm not sure what." A cutout of a paper doll? My shadow, run off by its lonesome?
"You look fine--you're exactly as you should be."
Kaylin's words were more distinct. I wasn't hearing them--not with my ears--but they felt less intermingled with my own thoughts now. I looked around and there in the shadows next to me, I saw Kaylin--or rather, Kaylin's shadow.
A thought struck me. If I could see him, maybe that meant . . . I slowly turned to my right. There, in a cloud of mist and sparkles--faint cerulean with diamond dust sparkling in the midst--swirled Ulean. She was not female per se, but a vague bipedal form caught in the middle of an ever-spinning vortex.
My gods, you're beautiful! I couldn't stop staring at her.
Thank you, my friend. I'm so happy you can finally see me.
"We'd better get going," Kaylin said, and I realized he'd missed my exchange with the Elemental. So even here, he couldn't hear her. But . . .
"Can you see Ulean?" I motioned toward the mist and vapor that was my wind Elemental.
He stared for a moment, then slowly inclined his head. "Faintly, but there's static. Perhaps it's because I'm not attuned to the wind."
He's not bonded with me. Only you can see me clearly here. And only you--or those I choose to--can hear me.
