Page 126 of What Should Have Been Ours

We sip our drinks in silence for a moment before I clear my throat. “Let’s make a list.”

She tilts her head, peering up at me. “A list?”

“You know, a list of everything we want to do together.”

Her brows pull together. “A…bucket list?”

I nod.

She hesitates, looking down at the mug in her hands. “I don’t like how final that feels.”

I cup the side of her face, tilting it back up so she has no choice but to look at me. “It’s not about the ending, Gabrielle. It’s about the time in between now and then.”

She swallows roughly and then nods. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

I smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead before shifting to grab a pen and a piece of paper sitting on the coffee table. “We can start small. What’s something we haven’t done together that you want to?”

She thinks for a second, then says, “A road trip to Cape Cod.”

“One Crazy Summer?” I ask her, smirking, knowing how much she loved that classic movie.

“Yeah,” she giggles. “Okay, your turn,” she says, leaning into me.

I grin. “Skinny-dipping?”

She rolls her eyes but laughs. “Of course you’d say that.”

We keep going, tossing ideas back and forth—simple things, silly things, things we should have had a lifetime to do but will have to squeeze into whatever time we have left.

When we finish, I walk over to the fridge and grab a magnet, pressing the list against the door.

“Now, anytime we think of something else,” I say, “we just add it to the list.”

Gabrielle walks up behind me, wrapping her arms around my chest, resting her cheek against my back.

“I love you,” she whispers.

I cover her hands with mine. “I love you more.”

No matter how often we say it, it doesn’t feel like enough now.

Nothing is ever going to feel like enough now.

55

Gabrielle

Being back at work feels wrong.

I should be happy to be back. I love my job. I always have. But today, every appointment, every conversation, every passing moment just feels like I’m going through the motions—smiling at pet owners, reassuring nervous animals, pretending like my world isn’t falling apart.

I knew coming back after a month off would be an adjustment, but I didn’t expect it to feel like this. So—Empty.

Even worse, Kinsley is off today, so I don’t have her here with me to keep me sane, to make inappropriate jokes in the break room when I need them most.

By the time my shift is over, I’m exhausted. Not physically, but emotionally and mentally. I don’t know how to be back in the real world when the real world feels like it’s on a mission to take everything I love away from me.

I don’t even remember the last time I slept in my own apartment. Because I don’t want to be anywhere he isn’t anymore.