Page 45 of What Should Have Been Ours

Because the truth is, I don’t know how to exist around Cam without falling for him.

I don’t think in the last twelve years that I ever actually got up from the first time.

I hesitate when the thought creeps in of what he said the other day. What felt like pre-rejection at the time, but now feels so much more confusing. “But…you said you weren’t looking for a relationship.” I force out a nervous laugh to play off my feelings. “Not that that’s what I’m saying we have to be, I just—”

Cam cuts me off before I can keep rambling, turning to face me fully. “Gabrielle.” His voice is firm. “I meant I wasn’t looking for a relationship with anyone—who wasn’t you.”

My breath catches.

Cam continues, filling my sudden silence. “I don’t have commitment issues or anything,” he says, laughing lightly, “I just think nothing else has ever worked out for me because I was always stuck on the girl I left my heart with at sixteen. I don’t think you know the impact you had on me. I don’t think you realize you were still in possession of my heart for all these years apart. It was always only yours. I’ve never given it to anyone else.”

What do I say to that? How do I tell him that I feel the exact same way? That every man I tried to let myself fall for has had to compete with him in my head.

My feelings for Cam have always been there, but the power he also holds over me scares me a little too much to give into yet. Every man in my life, including him, has hurt or left me behind.

I try to keep my heart in the safe territory for now.

“I’ve been hurt a lot, Cam. I know you never meant to hurt me, but when you left and cut me off, I was broken for a very long time. And then the ones who came after you did more damage to my heart than I think I’ve ever let myself acknowledge.”

“You know I would never want to intentionally hurt you, Gabrielle. We’re not kids anymore. We don’t have people telling us what we can and can’t do. Nobody is pulling us apart. It’s our decision. Your decision. And like I said, I’m okay with being your friend if that’s all you need right now, but I didn’t want you to ever question if I still want you back,” he confesses.

I take a deep breath, trying to sort through all of my feelings. “I don’t think I can trust my heart not to love you the way it always has, but I’m also not sure it can handle being broken again either. I don’t want to lose you a second time.”

“You won’t,” he says confidently. “We take it slow, no pressure. Just two kids finding their way back to each other as friends. And if I’m lucky enough to hold your heart again one day, I promise it won’t get broken twice.”

I just nod, letting his words fully sink in.

I don’t think I’m ready for the whirlwind that Cam is on my heart. But if I’m being honest, I think it’s already too late to stop.

16

Cameron

Hospitals are supposed to be predictable. Rounds, check-ins, treatments, diagnoses—structured chaos, you know?

But today? Today feels like anything but.

I should be focused. My morning started early, bouncing between patient rooms, checking charts, and discussing treatment plans with every worried parent on my list. But in between all of it, there’s a distraction. A very specific, blue-eyed, sharp-witted distraction who has taken up way too much space in my head.

I try to push the thoughts aside as I sit with a young patient and his parents, explaining his next round of chemo. The mom is nodding, her fingers curled around the bed rail, her knuckles turning white. The dad stares blankly at me, like I’m speaking another language.

This is the other part of the job I hate most. Delivering news that no parent should ever have to hear. But I do my best to make it easier, to soften the edges of reality without lying. I’ve been there, and I know how cruel this whole process can be.

By the time I step out of the room, I let out a slow breath, rubbing the back of my neck. My pager buzzes, but before I can check it, my phone vibrates in my pocket too. I already know who it is before I even look.

My Future Wife: How’s saving lives today, Dr. Hayes?

I smirk, shaking my head. I should be paying more attention to my next task, but I find myself leaning against the nurses’ station, typing back.

Cam: Exhausting. I think I deserve a raise.

My Future Wife: Maybe they’ll pay you overtime in free hospital pudding cups?

Cam: I’ll take that. Only if you personally deliver them to me in one of those cute little Halloween nurse outfits.

My Future Wife: Absolutely not.

Cam: Wow. No support for your hardworking friend?