Page 92 of What Should Have Been Ours

I can’t help the eternal battles. But I feel her watching me. She sees it. She just doesn’t want to admit it.

Tonight, she finally says something as I’m staring at the ceiling, barely able to keep my eyes open, but still too wired to sleep. She’s is curled up in the chair beside me, her fingers laced through mine, her grip grounding me.

“I don’t like what you’ve been doing.”

I blink, sluggishly turning my head to look at her. “What?”

She meets my gaze, not letting me look away. “Pushing me away, becoming more distant.”

I swallow, my throat going a little dry. “I’m not—”

“You are.” Her voice is quiet but firm. “You think I don’t see it? You’ve been different, like you’re trying to make space between us before you have to.”

I look away, clenching my jaw as she shifts beside me, her hand tightening around mine.

“Cam, I’m not leaving.”

I exhale slowly, feeling this need to protect her from the storm that already hanging over our heads. “You should.”

“Don’t start.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. “Gab—”

“No.” Her voice cracks a little. “You don’t tell me what I can handle. You don’t get to decide that I should walk away. I decide that. And I’m telling you right now, I’m not going anywhere.”

I shake my head, swallowing past the lump in my throat. “You deserve more than this.”

Her grip on my hand tightens. “I deserve you. However I can have you. However long I have you…which will be a very long time, by the way.”

I turn to her, my voice starting to come out rough. “I don’t want you to have to keep reliving this.”

She climbs into the hospital bed beside me. “You think I care about that?” she whispers. “I care about you. You are what matters to me. I love you, Cam. I’ll love you no matter how hard this gets. You’re not getting rid of me.”

I exhale sharply, my eyes burning. “Gabrielle—”

“Cam…can you just stop?” She lifts her head, her forehead pressing against mine. “I don’t care what happens. I’m staying. I can hate what is happening, I can hate what you’re going through, I can hate the cards we’re dealt…but I can’t make myself want to be anywhere but right here.”

No matter how much I push this woman away for her own good, she doesn’t budge. And strangely, it settles something in me I didn’t realize I needed.

I press a kiss to her temple, closing my eyes. “Okay,” I murmur.

Because if she’s willing to fight for me, it means I have to fight too.

35

Gabrielle

The last two months in the hospital have been a blur. A never-ending cycle of chemo, transfusions, blood tests, and too many nights curled up in that uncomfortable chair beside Cam’s hospital bed, listening to the beeping of machines.

Everything happened so fast. Too fast. I haven’t had a second to process any of it, or to even breathe. But Cam? He’s somehow been the strongest one through it all. Even now, pale, weak, and tired—sitting up in his hospital bed with an IV running through his arm, he’s smiling, laughing even, as little Maya sits cross-legged, hooked up to her own IV beside him, looking up at him like he hung the damn moon.

“You know we match now,” Maya says, tapping at her bald head, then pointing at his. “Except I think I pull it off better.”

Cam lets out a tired chuckle, resting his head back against the pillow. “You definitely do, superstar. I’m thinking of investing in some wigs though. What do you think? Maybe something blonde and curly?”

Maya scrunches her nose. “No way. That would be weird. You should just rock the bald look. You did when you were a kid, right?”

Cam smirks. “Yeah, but I was a lot cuter back then.”