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I realized that I was having trouble breathing—my chest felt tight, as if some invisible serpent were coiling around me, squeezing till I could barely think. My heart felt like it was expanding, with nowhere to go. I tried to calm myself, but now real fear took over, and I realized I could not move. The spirits and the mist were keeping me down, and the Elementals’ singing was hitting me directly in my heart chakra. A shift…and another…something was happening to me. I struggled, still unable to speak.
Trying to gulp air, I thrashed, lungs burning as they worked to break free of the constriction. And then, as the world began to waver and I realized I was dying, a light began to glow over my chest, a bright, intense, bluish light that was white hot at its center. It was emanating out of me, rising up in a flowing stream from my chest, and it crystallized as I watched, forming into a fist-sized blue faceted gem.
Breathing forgotten, I stared, mesmerized, as the gem took on a life of its own. And then I knew. This was my heartstone. Whatever they were doing to me, it was creating the heartstone that would forever be a part of me.
As I relaxed, giving in to the sensation of death, a rush of wind blew through me and I began to spiral out of my body. In front of me was the shadow shape of a great owl. She was white, with black bands on her wings, and her eyes gleamed blue, like the ice of my heartstone. I gasped as she leaned forward and spread her wings. They were huge, and beautiful, and stretched out in a hush of whispers, waving a breeze before them. Every sweep of her feathers commanded the wind.
The owl pressed her head to mine, and I caught my breath as she blended into me, merging, melding, folding her wings around me only to have them disappear as they entered my body.
I am you. You are me. This is what you are becoming.
The owl’s thoughts became my own, as did her hunger and the dark pull to live under the moon rather than the sun. She was a predator, feral and fierce, but she was not evil—no, she was nature incarnate, the cycle of life in action. She let out a loud shriek as an agonizing pain hit me in the chest, stabbing so deep that I reeled back into my body. I opened my mouth and found my voice again as the owl’s shriek became my own, soaring through the chamber as the searing pain sliced me into ribbons.
The icicle on the ceiling shivered and then came crashing down. As the point aimed directly toward me, I screamed “No!” and it shattered into a thousand pieces, showering the Elementals and me with tiny shards of ice.
And then, as quickly as the pain had descended, and as long as it had lasted, with a sudden rush, it rolled back through my body like the sea, receding in a wave, and vanished in a single puff of mist. The Elementals stood back as I lay, spent and panting, on the bed. The spirits departed, and I was once again free to move.
As I slowly sat up, I glanced at my chest, expecting to see blood or a wound, but there was no sign of anything amiss. And then, as I glanced over, the silver box caught my attention. In the center was a glowing sapphire, as brilliant and vivid as any stone I’d ever seen. It pulsed with my breath, it shimmered with my thoughts. And I realized, there, in the silver chest, was the core of my existence. My heartstone. And as long as it stood, barring accident or deliberate attack, so would I stand.
Chapter 7
My heartstone. I slowly sat up. Reaching out, I passed my fingers over it. With a glance at the Elementals, I went to touch it, but one of the glacial giants gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me. And then I realized—I must never touch the heartstone again, unless I wanted it to reabsorb into me as Lainule’s had reabsorbed into her. I withdrew my hand and nodded at the Elemental.
They stepped back, standing two to a side by my heartstone. I had the feeling I was supposed to do something now but wasn’t sure what. I hesitated, not sure if I should stand up. What had the ritual done to me? How had it changed me?
As I was debating, a soft sound caught my attention and I turned to see Lainule standing there. She looked different—and then I realized her hair was almost entirely auburn now, with golden highlights peeking through. Faint lines crisscrossed under her eyes. She smiled at me softly, though, and her eyes were luminous and moist, as if she’d been crying.
“Rhiannon—” It hit me that if I’d been going through this, so must have my cousin. “Is she okay?”
“She passed through the transformation. She is alive and her heartstone lives. Now the heartstones must be hidden, and then the two of you will undergo your coronations. Twice morningtide has come and gone in this realm since you ventured here.”
“I thought our coronations were to take place on the Solstice?” Time in the Fae realms still confused me.
“And so they shall. In this realm, time passes at a different rate, just as it did when you entered my realm seeking my heartstone. Outside, in the Marburry and Eldburry Barrows, barely a moment has passed, and outside the portals, the same. Tomorrow night, you become the Queen of Snow and Ice, Cicely.”
She held out her hand and I took it, rising to my feet, if a little unsteady. I felt odd, different. As I steadied myself on the side of the bed, she handed me the silver gown and I slipped back into it.
“What does it mean, having a heartstone created out of you? I mean, how will it affect me?” There was so much I still didn’t understand or know, and I wondered if I’d ever fully comprehend what was going on.
But Lainule laughed, her voice rich and reverberating off the walls. “Trust. Trust that you can hold this post, wield this power, grow into your position. When I was first Queen, it was terrifying. I was petrified that I couldn’t meet up to the expectations. The Queen of Rivers and Rushes who came before me, she was brilliant and gracious and everyone loved her. I can never be as genial as she was, but we each must mold our rule around the person we are.”
“What was her name? And why…how did you become Queen?” I leaned on her arm as we walked along, still feeling weak and dizzy. Oddly enough, the cold of the cavern no longer fazed me.
Lainule let out a long breath. She ducked her head, then smiled again. “Her name was Iolie, and she was the morning sun. Everyone loved her. She ruled for…I have no idea how long. I came to the throne relatively young. She was old…old past counting. I know the names of the Fae Queens before her, but they are simply words against the mists of time, now. Iolie was…stretched thin. When a Fae Queen lives for thousands of years, she begins to wane, little by little. Iolie lived so long she grew weary of life. She chose to reclaim her heartstone and return to the Golden Isle. She outlived her immediate heirs, but I was her great-great-great-great-granddaughter. And so I became Queen.”
We were progressing through the winding hall now, and every wall, every panel and tile of ice in the castle seemed to glow from within with a rich, blue luminescence.
“I don’t remember the lights.”
“You created them. Drawing forth the heartstone has given life to the realm again. This place is part of the realm of Snow and Ice—it is far from your Barrow, but it is still part of your realm. You have given your lifeblood, your essence, to this place, and it renews itself. You’ve brought rejuvenation and renewal to the realm.”
She laughed again. “Oh, Cicely—there will be so many things for you to learn and to see, and to experience. Have you not noticed that you no longer feel the extreme cold?”
I nodded. “Is that part of…this transformation?”
“Yes. Just as Rhiannon no longer feels extreme heat. All full-blooded Fae can withstand the elements better than the yummanii or the magic-born, but you were not full-blooded. Now, though, that you have melded yourselves with the realms, you have the powers of the Queens. There will be more. But mark my words carefully.”
Here she stopped and turned to me, holding me by the shoulders. “You are not invincible. Queens can die. Queens can be murdered. Accidents can happen, even with the heartstones in a protected place. Do not let down your guard and do not be careless.”
