Page 3 of Her Age Gap Match

“I believe that’s what women decide when they find out.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I looked at the garden out the back window. November had stripped it down but you could tell it was well-tended, the kind of garden someone came back to every year.

"No," I said finally. "I don't believe that."

"Good." She made a small note. "Because I don't either, and I need you to hold onto that for this conversation."

I looked back at her. "That sounds like a preamble."

"It is." She set her pen down and folded her hands. "Johnny — can I call you Johnny?"

"You've called me Johnny for two years, Sophie."

"Johnny." She smiled briefly. "I'm not going to match you with a fifth woman."

The room was quiet. Outside, faintly, I could hear Poppy's keyboard.

"Okay," I said. "So I am getting fired."

"You are not getting fired." Sophie's voice was patient in the way that suggested she'd anticipated this response. "I'm removing you from the active matching pool because I think the matching pool isn't actually your problem."

I waited.

“I want to ask you something,” she said, “and I’d like you to think about it honestly before you answer.”

“I always try to be honest.”

She nodded, then: “Is there someone in your life already?”

I frowned. “Like…Elle? You know she doesn’t swing that way⁠—”

“No,” Sophie said. “Like—not a client, not a friend. Just someone in your life. Someone that’s making it harder to be present with the women I’m matching you with. I need to share with you that the women you’ve been matched with…we do an assessment to find out why the date wasn’t great. Everyone has had something different to say, but the one unifying factor is that you’re distracted.”

“Well…” I thought about it. Didn’t like where my thoughts went. Made up an excuse. “It’s probably work. I work a lot.”

“Right,” Sophie said. “Okay. Fair.”

“You don’t sound convinced.”

“Because I’m not,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Johnny, these are perceptive women. They’re not imagining it. And my read is that it is absolutely not about work.”

I stared out the window. Wondered what the view would look like in spring. Felt like an asshole for lying, even though I wasn’t entirely sure what I was lying about.

“There’s no one,” I finally said.

Sophie watched me for a moment.

Then she nodded. “Okay.”

Didn’t push it. That was almost worse.

“In that case,” she went on, “I think we should take a break from the matching process. Just for ninety days, just enough to give you time to breathe, me to strategize, see if someone new comes into our pool that I think would sit right in the sweet spot. In the meantime, I’d like you to think seriously about what you want. Not what you think you should want. Not what makes sense on paper. What you actually want.”

I nodded. “So…we’re done here?”

“One more thing,” she said. “If the answer to my question changes during that ninety days…I’d like you to sit with it. Really sit with it. Before you do anything at all.”