Page 37 of Dead to Me

“It's beautiful outside.”

I stood behind her.

“It is.”

“I can’t believe I am getting married.”

“I can.”

She turned.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“You've been planning your wedding since we were twelve.”

“To Usher.”

I laughed.

“You were convinced.”

“He still could've proposed.”

“He doesn’t even know you exist.”

China smiled. I hated thinking about the version of us that could have existed if she hadn’t ruined everything. She took another sip of coffee. Then she looked at me.

“Can I ask you something?”

“You always do.”

“I’m serious.”

"Go ahead." She hesitated.

“Did you ever think about Malcolm while you were gone?”

Some questions deserve lies. This was one of them.

“Yes.”

Her expression shifted. I almost admired her nerve. She had taken him from me, and she still wanted to know if I had thought of him while I was in prison.

“What did you think about?” she asked.

I walked toward the dresser and picked up my phone.

“Different things.”

“Did you still love him during that time?”

I turned to face her. China was staring at me. I smiled.

“No.”

Relief appeared on her face right away. I remembered it.

“Did you love him while he was with me?”