Page 45 of Dead to Me

She touched the diamond pendant around her neck.

“It was hers.”

I recognized it. Mama wore that necklace every Sunday for as long as I could remember. I hadn’t seen it since before I was arrested.

“Daddy gave it to me after she died,” China said.

I nodded. A sharp pain went through my chest.

Our mother had been gone for three years. She had a massive heart attack while she was standing in the kitchen. China was with her.

I was sitting in the prison library when an officer came to tell me. They wouldn’t let me go to the funeral. China got Mama’s necklace.

They gave me a chaplain and forty-five minutes alone in a counseling room.

I reached for the pendant, but China grabbed my hand. She moved quickly, almost as if she was trying to protect something.

We both glanced down at her fingers still wrapped around my wrist.

She let go right away.

“Sorry, I just don’t want to get makeup on it.”

I dropped my hand.

“Of course.”

China turned back to the mirror. I stared at the necklace. It was just one more thing she had because I wasn’t there.

I wondered how many parts of my life had been split up while I was locked away. No one kept anything in case I returned.

I was still alive, but my family had divided my things as if I were already gone.

“Milan?”

I looked over at China.

“What?”

“You spaced out for a second.”

“I’m here.”

She met my eyes in the mirror.

“I wish Mama could see us.”

I didn’t say anything. China swallowed hard.

“She’d be happy you came.”

That made me laugh. China frowned.

“What?”

“Mama would’ve slapped you.”

The room around us seemed to quiet even though nobody actually stopped talking.