Page 123 of Hard to Score

The one thing I keep thinking is that I know silence speaks when words can’t, but I’m struggling to hear what Drew’s silence is saying.

Restless and preoccupied, I walk to my office door and then turn back, already forgetting whatever it was I was needing to do.

Get a life.

Hear from Drew.

See Drew.

Any of the three will suffice.

“Hey? You okay?”

I startle at the sound of my dad’s voice and when I look up, find him standing across the office studying me.

How long has he been there?

Did he hear me on the phone?

I’ve been trying desperately to put on a brave face so that no one knows what’s going on. At least until I know what’s going on, that is.

“Brex?”

“I’m good. Sorry, I was lost in thought.” I nod and give a smile that I’m more than certain he realizes doesn’t reach my eyes.

“Is it Flatley?” he asks about my NBA player, who is currently causing problems with his teammates on the Chicago Bulls, and the management is demanding I try to control him. “If it’s too much on your plate, I could have Dekker or Chase go for you. I could even go. I know you have a lot going on and—”

“No need. I’m fine. I already have my flight booked for tomorrow morning. I’m heading there and then have a few meetings set up the day after next with some clients I’ve been neglecting in the same vicinity. Just a quick trip. I’ll be back on Sunday afternoon.”

“You sure? I can take your place.” He gives me the once-over, and I try to be more convincing with my smile this time around.

“One hundred percent. You know me, I like to keep busy.” I lean against the doorjamb of my office and then take a deep breath. This is your dad, Brex. You know you don’t really have to put up a front of indifference. “I’ve just been running ragged, I guess. I feel like shit for not landing Hobbs, but even if I had landed him that spot with the Chargers, I still wouldn’t have signed him with the shit he pulled.”

“I agree. There’s no need to feel bad, honey.”

“But I do, and so I’m just tired, trying to pull in some other new clients to make up for it is all. Then this crap with Flatley, and I’m just frustrated. That’s it. Frustrated and tired.”

Quit talking. Quit overexplaining. He’ll definitely know something is wrong.

“We’ll survive without an asshole like Hobbs. I already told you that. And Drew? He’s good too?” he asks and purses his lips.

“Yes. Of course.” I offer a tight smile that wins me a narrowing of his eyes followed by a nod.

“I have a good lunch.” He holds up his lunch bag. “I overpacked per usual. Do you want to share it with me? We can have lunch together in the conference room like old times?” His smile is soft, his eyes knowing. He can see I’m upset about something.

But he doesn’t ask.

I swallow over the lump in my throat and nod. “I’d like that. Thank you.”

And before I follow him, I toss my cell on my desk. I’m uncertain if I’m leaving it behind because I’m afraid Drew won’t respond to my voicemail or if he does, his response might be something I’m not ready to accept.

But I leave it.

Because right now it’s okay to be uncertain. It’s okay to feel a little lost.

At least I’m in the best place possible while having those feelings.

Next to my dad.