Page 118 of On The Edge

“I can see that.” I put one arm behind my head as a cushion. The stars are so bright compared to how they’re drowned out back home with all the lights. “Is that why we’re out here? You stressed about something?”

I can feel her shrug. “Just lots to think about with all the changes coming my way.”

“Like?”

Her sigh is soft but full of concern. “The head of Revive, Brian . . . he was dropping hints while I was in New York about me going to work for them. Nothing outright, but enough that I got the picture.”

Excitement hits. Dread follows soon after. Her texts hinted to as much and maybe I’ve just been choosing to put my head in the sand on that. “That’s . . . incredible. Right? Isn’t that what you wanted?”

She’s slow to respond. “Yeah. I guess. It seems I don’t know what I want right now.”

“That’s your dream. Go chase it.” The words taste bitter on my tongue because if she’s chasing that then she’s not with me and if she’s not with me . . . fuck. It seems that’s yet one more thing I keep brushing under the rug.

She falls quiet and I’d give anything to know what she’s thinking. Does the idea of her in New York and me everywhere else feel like a ball of lead in her gut? Because it sure as fuck does me and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.

I mean . . . is this what it feels like? The wanting to be with someone. The worrying when you’re not. The looking forward to what’s next? Because if that’s the case . . . what the actual fuck, Cruz?

You don’t do this. You don’t want this.

And yet . . . here you fucking are.

“Say something,” she murmurs and rests her chin on my shoulder. “When you’re quiet I don’t know what you’re thinking.”

“Well, that’s kind of how it works,” I tease to which she knocks her thigh against mine.

There is a peacefulness here. Yes, much like my rooftops but different. Or maybe it’s just having Maddix beside me that’s the difference. The calming effect.

I sigh and give her what she asks for. “He doesn’t like me.” Not sure why that’s my first thought, but it is.

And her chuckle tells me she knows exactly who I’m referring to. Her father. “He does. He just . . . one day if you have girls, you’ll understand. No one is ever good enough for your daughter even when they overwhelmingly are.”

“Humph.” I link my fingers with hers but don’t respond other than make the sound. Kids have never really crossed my mind. Not with my career. Not with my family history. Not with the unspoken expectation that I’ll carry on the Navarro name.

“I know a thing or two about parental disapproval.” I laugh. “And the way your dad studies me in silence? I mean, textbook case of disapproval.”

She laughs. “The bright side? This will probably be the only time in your life you have to see him, so I appreciate you doing this. Offering to stay here before the race week starts. Knowing you are going to be scrutinized and judged and everything in between when in the end it’s all for show.”

That’s true. It is. So why do those words feel like an elephant foot on my chest and more importantly, why do I want Gavin to like me? Why does it matter?

“There’s no need to thank me. You’ve dealt with plenty when it comes to my family, so I am definitely in your debt,” I say.

Maddix Hart stood up to Dominic Navarro without batting an eye. Pretty fucking impressive. Not to mention the funny way it made me feel inside.

“Well, when it comes to my family, the vote is being held on Monday. You’ll have won the board over and then for all intents and purposes, you’re going to finally be rid of me cramping your style. That should make you happy enough.”

“Will you stop?” I say and roll over on top of her, slanting my lips over hers. My hand threads through her hair between the nape of her neck and the blanket, and my thigh hooks over her body. But my lips taste and tease and tempt with a tenderness that even surprises me. I look down at her. Those expressive eyes. That beautiful face. She’s incredible. “I’m sick of hearing about when this is over. Just stop, okay?” I kiss her again, this time a little deeper. A little longer. “Let’s just enjoy this. The night. The now. This race. I don’t want to talk about the after.”

“But we never talk about any of it. Ever.” Her voice breaks, and her eyes hold mine as her fingertips trail up and down my spine.

God. This woman. She deserves the goddamn world. A world I don’t have to give her.

“I told you before that I’ve given more of myself to you than to anyone else I’ve ever met before. And I keep trying to give more when it’s the hardest thing in the world for me.” I lean my forehead to hers, the admission immediately causing panic to ricochet through me, even though I know those words are one hundred percent accurate. “I sat on a rooftop and drank alone in Mexico for God’s sake because it wasn’t the same without you there. Because in the bar, women were hitting on me and I had zero interest in them.”

“Poor baby,” she teases.

“You don’t get it. It’s not about that. It’s about . . .”

It’s about the fact that that’s when I realized I was in love with you.