Page 84 of Out of Control

“Sure. What’s up?”

“You tell me,” she says and orders a glass of wine while I eye her.

“What do you mean?”

She purses her lips and shrugs. “You’re quiet in the garages. You shy away from hanging with your brother when normally you’re in the thick of everything. I don’t know. Something’s off and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

I offer a smile. I love my soon-to-be sister-in-law. Adore her actually. And might just wish she weren’t so astute. “It’s nothing.” It’s everything. Rossi is everything. “I have a lot on my mind with the gallery and needing it to succeed so I don’t let the family down or—”

“It’s more than that.” She smiles and takes a sip of her wine. “You can say it’s not but after knowing you for over a year, it’s something more than the gallery and the usual.”

I nod and glance around. “Agreed. There’s more but it’s nothing earth-shattering. It’s more that I’m just contemplating a lot of things.”

“Like?”

Like how I’m falling for a man who will never be accepted by my family.

Like how I’m so sick of doing what’s right and expected of me.

Like how what he loved ruined his family . . . and I fear I might do the same.

“Like I don’t think I could ever do what you do,” I finally say.

“What’s that?” She furrows her brow and studies me.

I hope she doesn’t look too closely.

With a shrug, I explain. “Share your fiancé with the rest of the world. Know that wherever you go, you’ll always be recognized. Know that no matter what you do, you’ll never be considered the right girl for Cruz in the eyes of his female fans. Worry every time he gets behind a wheel that you’ll lose the father of your children.”

“Whoa.” She holds her hands up and chuckles. “Well shit, Sofia, way to be a downer.”

“Sorry. This is me overthinking.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me here? You plan on marrying a driver or something?”

“No. Of course not.” I smile and then sell the lie. “I saw Erikkson’s girlfriend earlier. Her pregnant belly was so adorable. And then there was a situation with a rude female fan saying mean things to her. It just made me question if I could ever do that.”

Maddix nods but I’m not one hundred percent sure she’s buying what I’m selling. I know I sure as shit wouldn’t be.

“Well.” She purses her lips and toggles her head from side to side as she contemplates my questions. “I don’t share my fiancé with the world. Cross is mine.” I love what she calls my brother. “They can have the persona of him all they want. I get the best side of him. You get used to the recognition. I mean, you already get that being his sister so it wouldn’t matter if you were dating a driver.”

“It’s not the same.”

“Depends on how you look at it. And the minute you think you’re good enough for someone is the day you stop trying to love them with your whole heart. So all that matters to me is that Cruz thinks I’m good enough. That he sees me and our relationship for what it’s worth. When I tried to walk away from us, he fought like hell for me. I know where I stand and wouldn’t want us any other way. As for the racing part. I can’t negate the danger or the worry, but you know that too.”

I nod and stare at my own glass of wine, as if it will give me the answers I need. And it won’t. I know it won’t. Accepting any of these things isn’t going to make my family accept Rossi any more than they already do—which is not at all.

He’s a man who’s already been wronged by people like me . . .

Who the hell am I to put him through that situation again?

“I know. I do, Madds. I know.”

She reaches out and squeezes my hand. She saw Rossi and me that night of her birthday party. She’s a smart woman. I’m sure she can make some inferences, but she doesn’t say any of them out loud.

“Here’s the thing, Sofia. No one’s going to love every decision in their life. I hated the idea of being your brother’s ‘girlfriend.’ I fought it with everything I had, but fate thought it would be funny to put me in my place and make me fall in love with the guy. Worse things could have happened.”

I smile and nod. “True.”