Page 95 of Twisted Knight

Again and again.

I can’t register that it’s my own voice, that they’re my own screams as I run to him.

Oh my god.

There’s blood. It’s everywhere. Coming out of his ears. Out of his nose. On the asphalt.

“Help.”

I don’t know what to do. His eyes are closed. His breathing unsteady.

“Please.”

I go to pick him up but stop. Broken bones. Spinal injuries. His brain.

Don’t move him.

Don’t move him.

Don’t move him.

“Call nine-one-one,” I scream. “I’m here, Mase. I’m here. Help is coming. I’m here.”

I lie down in the street with him, a mirror image on my side so that we can be face-to-face, so that he can hear me.

“Somebody call nine-one-one,” I shout again as the sounds of people around me start to register.

“They’re coming,” someone says as footsteps run beside me.

“C’mon, buddy. Stay awake. Help’s coming.” Tears streak down my cheeks as I squeeze my brother’s hand.

Please. Please. Please.

There are voices around me.

“Where’s the fucking ambulance?”

“We’re the last on the list. You know how it is here.”

“Did anyone see anything?”

“Hang in there, buddy. Help is on the way.”

It’s all white noise to me. White noise and the thundering of my heartbeat and the rattle of his breath.

“Help him. Please help him.” I can barely get the words out as I look up to the crowd of eyes gazing down at us. But that’s all they’re doing. No one is touching. No one is helping. No one is fixing.

I need a car. I need to drive him to help myself. I look from person to person. “I need a car. Your keys. I need to take him myself.” From my knees I try to gather Mason up myself, but someone pulls me back.

“Stop. No. You might hurt him more,” a voice behind me says as hands pull me back.

I struggle against them. “He needs help,” I plead. “He needs help and they’re not coming. I need to get him to the hospital.”

“Let him go,” someone says in front of me. There’s a clank as he kicks something but I’m so busy fighting against the person at my back that I almost miss the subtle shake of his head and knowing look.

“No!” I scream the word out and fight everyone off of me. I drop to my knees and gather my little brother in my arms. I hold him tight and try to squeeze my life into him. I try to make him hold on. I barter with the universe and every fucking thing in it to trade me for him. “Mase.” My lips are against his hair. “Hold on.” My heart is beating against his, willing it to do the same. “I love you.” I rock him back and forth. “I’m so sorry.”

There’s a strangled sob.