Page 131 of Threaded Lies

But isn’t that why she needs to go?

So I don’t see the hurt in her eyes or the defeat in her posture. So I don’t hear the break in her voice or see the tears slide down her cheeks.

A promise to Mason won’t be derailed by a fucking woman.

But the longer she stood there, the more I risked so many fucking things. More like every fucking thing.

Get your shit together, Knight.

Get your shit together, Simpson.

This is for the best.

Then why, when I look out the window down the endless stories of this building, does every damn part of me scream in protest?

Why do I want to pick up the phone and apologize?

Why do I want last night back so fucking bad?

I thought I liked living in the gray.

Right now that gray is a smothering fog that makes every part of me hurt.

Rowan begged me to make her feel last night.

The problem is, I did. And in the process, I allowed myself to feel too.

Now I don’t know how to turn it off.

To make the feeling go away.

To not hurt.

And man, this fucking hurts.

FIFTY-FIVE

Holden

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO

Three pairs of eyes stare at me, arrogance etched in the lines of their faces.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Simpson,” Williams says with a knowing glance over to Porter and Rothschild.

“Yes, you do. I was in the locker room. I heard the whole conversation. I know you guys took the caddies’ tips.”

“You can’t prove shit,” Rothschild says. “In fact, it sounds to me like you’re confessing right now that you know where the money is kept. There’s three of us and one of you. I mean…”

“You piece of shit,” I mutter.

“Watch your tongue, Simpson. You’re nothing here. A replaceable employee,” Porter says.

“A Fairmont freak,” Rothschild taunts.

“Turn yourself in or else I will. It’s not fair to Memo to lose his job over this.” And isn’t that the truth? Memo was seen in the locker room moments before the money was discovered missing. The only reason I’m here confronting these fuckers is because Memo needs this job.

“You act like we’re scared.” Clank. Click. Clank.