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I turned back to Lindsey, lowering my voice. "Did you really ask him to help you get pregnant?" If she had, I certainly hoped she'd had something in mind other than the B-grade porno flick that was racing through my mind. And, apparently, Feddrah-Dahns's. Oh yeah, I could even envision the title: Horn of Plenty, or some such schlock.
Lindsey lowered her gaze to the floor. Director of the Green Goddess Women's Shelter, she did a lot of outreach for a lot of women who needed self-empowerment and a fresh start in life. She could be a little on the dippy side, but she also had a stubborn streak a mile wide, and she was a staunch advocate for women's rights and social programs.
"Well… yes, I did. In a way."
My jaw dropped. "You've got to be kidding. You can't be… he's not a Were, you know—"
"What?" She reared back. "You think I meant it that way? You have to be joking!"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, calm down. Now, tell me exactly what you said. English isn't his first language." While Feddrah-Dahns spoke the language perfectly, it didn't mean he had a large vocabulary.
Lindsey blushed. "He really didn't think I wanted… oh no!"
I touched her arm and she let out a long sigh. "Okay, okay. I read in a book on mythology somewhere that touching a unicorn's horn will help a barren woman conceive. And I've been trying…" She paused, biting her lip as her wide hazel eyes welled up with unshed tears. I could feel her pain seep out, crackling like repressed lightning. "We've been trying for so long…"
"Wait a moment." I rested one hand on her shoulder and then glanced at the crowd. "Everything's fine. Nothing happened. Look folks, I know you're thrilled to meet a unicorn, but I need to close up shop." I leaned over and whispered in Lindsey's ear, "Wait here—and keep your hands to yourself, babe."
As I herded the disappointed throng outside, I caught sight of Sharah and Mallen as they drove away with the remains of the bugbear and the dynamite. Better them than me.
I reassured everybody that I'd do my best to encourage Feddrah-Dahns to return for another visit, then locked the door behind them and leaned against it. Letting out a long sigh, I rested the back of my head on the cool window as I closed my eyes. Sometimes being around my mother's people left me feeling on edge, almost abraded by their emotions. I liked my customers, but their thrill over seeing Feddrah-Dahns had translated to a blast of chattering energy that had battered against my shields.
After a few moments, I shook off the static of emotion and returned to the counter. Chase was propped against it, frowning. As I brushed past him, he caught my arm and in a low voice, said, "You going to be long?"
I darted a sideways glance in Lindsey's direction. "Why? You have somewhere urgent you need to be? Look, I just got robbed, a goblin and some demented Sawberry Fae are on a unicorn hunt, and now…" I gave him a shake of the head. "Why don't you go see what you can find out in my office while I take care of Lindsey? She really needs to talk to me."
Without another word, Chase disappeared into the back.
Lindsey dabbed at her eyes as I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and led her to the folding card table where I always sat and drank my morning latte while leafing through my magazines or whatever current book I was absorbed in. I liked my caffeine sweet and cold, and my literature in ink and paper, not computer pixels.
As she sat down I joined her, taking her hands in mine. Besides running the shelter, Lindsey had been instrumental in helping my friend Erin Mathews. Erin, owner of the Scarlet Harlot, had recently undergone a major transformation at the hands of my sister Menolly. Even though it was in order to save her life, in a fashion, now Erin was stuck learning how to cope with being a vampire. Lindsey was one of the few who knew that Erin had been turned.>Chase mulled over what I'd said. "So what it boils down to on our side is this: nobody over there is watching any of the new portals?"
I nodded. "That's pretty much the long and short of it. No wonder the Cryptos are getting through, though only the gods know what they want. It could be mere curiosity."
"Well, their presence is stamping a big fat red do-not-promote memo on my record, especially when they show up and get themselves wasted." Chase nodded to the door. Sharah and Mallen were on their way over to talk to us. "Here they come. Right before I got your call, I sent Shamas out on another case," he said as he pulled out his notebook and pen. "Somebody reported a troglodyte or something out in Shoreline. I have no idea what that is, but I'm hoping they were wrong. Really wrong."
Shamas was my cousin, and he'd come Earthside after being tortured and marked for death back in Y'Elestrial. Actually, he'd managed to hide out in Aladril, the city of Seers, until Menolly and I unwittingly brought him home with us. That had been a shock and a half, though mostly welcome. Since then, he'd moved in with Morio, and we'd inducted him into our makeshift version of the OIA. Shamas took to investigative work like a duck to orange sauce.
"We've got a problem, boss." Sharah swung herself onto the counter. Her legs didn't come anywhere near the ground. She was an elf—niece to the Elfin Queen, actually—and so petite she made supermodels look clunky.
"I don't want to hear about it." Chase flashed her an irritated look.
"Of course you don't," she said soothingly, then her smile disappeared. "But you have to. Here's the deal: the bugbear had this on him." Sharah cautiously retrieved and placed a long stick on the counter. Chase and I both did the jump-for-your-life thing.
"What the hell are you doing with a stick of dynamite?" Chase's shock infiltrated his voice, though he instinctively lowered it. "Be careful, and don't yell. If that stuff's old, anything could trigger it."
I motioned toward the red cylinder. "Get that out of my store right now. Things that go boom are so not a good thing to have around my magic. They could go boom in a big, bad way. Very big. Mondo bad. And what do you mean, you found it on the bugbear? He was squashed. Wouldn't it have blown up?"
"No, it rolled to the side when he fell, apparently. Before the car could run over it, too. The stick has his scent on it. Trust me, he was carrying it." Mallen, a thin, waiflike elf who was probably more powerful than all of us put together, picked up the stick and headed toward the door. "Sharah, let's go secure this before something happens to it."
I glanced at Chase. What the hell was a bugbear doing running down the streets of Seattle with a stick of dynamite tucked in his pocket? "The goblin! I wonder if he's packing, too?" I jumped up and headed for the back.
"I take it you didn't frisk him when you tied him up?" Chase let out a sigh that told me he'd had more than enough excitement for the day.
"Frisk him? You've got to be kidding. I have no desire to touch anything personal of his. You never know when one of these creatures might be packing spare parts in all the wrong places. I saw a goblin naked once, and it wasn't by choice. Two dicks. Four balls. No waiting."
Chase groaned. "Don't tell me you dated one of those ugly suckers—"
"Bite your tongue before I tell Delilah to! Hell no, I wasn't dating him. He was in a bar, drunk, and he stripped and started chasing the barmaid around the room. I didn't stick around to ask if he came with standard equipment or if he'd been blessed."
