Page 20 of Inked Nights

Lucky number seven? Or to the seventh layer of hell in Dante’s Inferno?

“I’m fine.”

“You think I don’t know you, but I do know enough to know that’s a lie. Let’s get into the room so you can finally tell me what’s got you so on edge. Hmm?”

She didn’t answer, but as they walked to the room once they left the elevator, her silence was answer enough. He pressed his keycard to the sensor and opened the door, gesturing for her to go in first. She hated that her chest hurt, that her lungs felt as if they were too large for her ribcage.

She had to do this quickly, like ripping off a Band-Aid, and then she’d be fine.

And if she kept telling herself that, maybe she’d actually believe it.

The door closed behind them, and she rolled her shoulders back. Time to be the woman she’d fought so hard to be and tell him the truth. So she turned on her heel to face him…and found his lips on hers.

Damn this man and his mouth.

Damn him.

Her lips parted without her knowing, and he deepened the kiss, his hands going in her hair and over her face, pulling her in closer. He tasted of mint and a little bit of coffee, and she wanted to drown in his essence forever. But even as she thought that, even as he groaned, she knew she needed to pull away.

And unlike the last time, she did.

“Stop, Derek. I need to talk to you.”

He panted just as she did, but took a step back. The heat of him still touched her, but his body didn’t, and for that she was grateful.

Kissing him again would be wrong. Falling for him would be even worse.

She’d already done both, but she’d be damned if she let herself fall into bed with him again. She couldn’t hold back this secret from him and let him touch her, let him take her. She’d never forgive herself.

“What’s wrong, Olivia? What’s so bad that you look as if you want to cry and shake at the same time? I know I’ve been pushing you, and for that, I’m sorry. If you want to go back to what we had before, we can. We can do our thing once a month and keep each other at just first names and never talk again outside of that. But you need to know I want more. I need more. But I’ll settle for what we had if that’s all you have to give. However, if you can give me more? I’ll take it. I want to know you. I want to see you outside these walls. I want to go on actual dates with you and find out who we can be together when we’re not playing by the rules we set when we didn’t know any better. And I know I’m saying all the things I want, but hell, we’ve done so good for so long by not saying anything too deep, not letting each other get too close to who we are, that maybe it’s time we break that mold. Maybe it’s time we actually say what we want, rather than what we think we need.”

She was breaking inside, large chasms ripping through her body as if a quake set off a chain reaction of pain and despair. Yet she could be strong for him, strong now when she hadn’t been before.

He wanted more. She’d known that, of course, but hearing him say the words, seeing the plea in his eyes, she couldn’t catch her breath.

She wanted all of that, too. Wanted that and more, but she couldn’t even let herself think it until she told him what she’d been holding back.

“My name’s Olivia,” she blurted.

He frowned, clearly caught off guard by her saying something he already knew.

“Yes, you told me that last time. What’s wrong?”

“My name’s Olivia Madison. Does that name sound familiar?”

He froze, his face going blank.

He remembered.

But she needed to tell him everything, just in case. Yes, it would be more for her at this point, but it could be for him, too.

“I was three years old when I found my best friend. She was the same age as me, and her big brother was only a year or two older than us. She was everything to me. Her light blond hair was the opposite of mine, her pale skin so much lighter than mine, and I loved that we were so different on the outside, yet so much the same on the inside. I didn’t know what all of that meant when I was a little girl, but I know now. She was my everything, my best friend for the next three years of my life.”

He didn’t say anything, but he clenched his jaw as well as his fists.

He knew.

He remembered.