Page 56 of Crossroads

“No. No.”

“You can’t go in there, Bodhi.”

I ignored Thatcher and Captain Carter as they dragged me toward the ambulance.

“Somebody give him oxygen. Tell them we have a burn victim. At least third-degree burns on his side, second degree on his other.”

I ignored Mr. Carter’s words as I looked up at Thatcher. “Courtney? The babies?”

Thatcher gave me a look, and I roared, my heart shattering into a million pieces. The crevasse that had once been the crystalline shelter for my soul whispered to dust, and nothing left could be salvageable as a person.

Nobody else would be going inside that house. Even as my body began to shake, the pain finally hitting me since I had been numb to it before, I realized that my best friend was trying to tell me something. But I ignored the pain, ignored the words, and reached for Thatcher.

“Where are they?”

“Bodhi.”

“Thatcher. My family.”

“Bodhi.”

I blinked, realizing that I was no longer in the past, that flashback was a recurring nightmare that didn’t feel like it was recurring. It had felt too real.

I leaned against the brick facing of the hospital and stared into Thatcher’s familiar eyes.

It was nearly the same look that he had given me when I had realized I hadn’t been enough. That my best friend hadn’t been enough.

“Thatcher.”

“Where were you just then?”

I shook my head. “Nowhere.”

“I don’t know if I believe you.”

I let out a breath and stared off into the distance, the moon high in the sky, stars blinking in and out on that velvet blue sky.

I had been downtown with Atlas, going to meet the guys since I had promised them I would start to leave the house again. Being with Kiera had reminded me that I needed to start living again, a stark contrast to this moment in time. When we had heard the scream, Atlas and I had started running, not knowing who it was. It was a reflex, somebody was hurt, in pain, and we went to help.

Then I had seen Kiera on the ground, covering her body as the drugged-up asshole kicked her repeatedly. I hadn’t even thought twice before throwing myself at the man, Atlas right behind me. I’d let my fists connect with Jeremiah’s face once, before I staggered back and went straight to Kiera. I had only been able to do that because I had known Atlas would be there. The man had risked his body—the one that the NHL required to be healthy at all times—in order to save Kiera. And for that, I would always be grateful. The man had only a few hours before he had to go back, but he had been there for me.

And yet I couldn’t focus, not right now. I couldn’t go back into that hospital. Not the same hospital that had declared my babies and my wife dead. The same hospital I had been laid up in for months, and I had learned to heal from the wounds that still covered my body.

“Kiera should be discharged soon. She has a few stitches, and I’m sure the paparazzi and media have already heard, so they’ll be on their way soon. But she’s going to be fine. Looks like her fist was the one that broke the man’s nose, you and Atlas added on a broken jaw, and a possible broken rib or three.”

I blinked up at Thatcher, trying to stay in this moment, but everything blended. Courtney’s scream that I hadn’t truly heard, and Kiera’s real one.

“She’s going to be okay?” I asked, even though Thatcher had just said so.

“She will. Going to be a little sore. But neither one of the wounds was deep. In fact, she might not have needed stitches on her jawline at all, but a plastic surgeon will do his best to minimize scarring.”

“I should have killed him.”

“I wouldn’t have blamed you, but I heard you went right to her and let Atlas deal with him. That’s good, Bodhi. Kiera needed you.”

“I wasn’t fast enough. She was still bleeding.”

“But that asshole is going to jail for a long time. Probably attempted murder, assault with a deadly weapon. Not to mention he had enough meth in his system and on his body to kill a large animal.”