Page 6 of Lethal Weakness

“Yep, you have nuggets, but I also put some broccoli on your plate and some cheesy rice. Try some. It’ll be good.”

Her face pinches, and she shakes her head again.

She only has a few safe foods. Nuggets, pancakes, plain spaghetti, and apple sauce are up there as her favorites.

After months of fighting through what I thought was pickiness, I finally broke and took her to her doctor when I noticed she was losing weight.

Her pediatrician thinks that her food aversion might have something to do with misplaced stress and anxiety. She refuses most foods no matter how many times I offer them, and only picks at the foods that she does like. Kids can be headstrong, but this is something else entirely.

Every meal feels like I’m failing my daughter, but it’s because of our living situation with her father that’s gotten us here.

No matter how hard I tried to stop the fighting, he wouldn’t keep it behind closed doors. He’d start drinking, and the yelling would start. I begged him to leave so many nights that I finally gave up and just locked Avery in her room.

She was only 6 months old when I started hiding money. After a year, I felt like I was close enough to start over, but my ex had caught on. He knew I wanted to leave him.

And that meant more fighting, threats, and eventually outside involvement.

Once his family found out I was trying to leave with Avery, they went full nuclear. They weren’t going to let me take her without a fight. It took another year to come to an agreement.

I could leave with Avery, but I had to stay within 10 miles of Noddingbell. And the only other town within 10 miles is exactly where I ended up.

In a house that is falling apart, and all I could afford.

With an arrangement that I will receive child support as long as I let my ex’s parents stay involved in her life.

They knew her dad was unhinged when he wasn’t sober, and dealing with demons that I will never fully know. All the Scott family wanted was access to my daughter.

And unfortunately for them, that requires me to be involved. Where she goes, I go. That was my final stipulation.

The past few months we stayed in our old home while Turner was in a rehab of sorts. That’s all the information they would give me.

It gave me just enough time to get out and to move here.

His program will be over any day now, and I know his parents will call eventually seeking time with Avery. Every time I inhale, I’m reminded that I’m holding my breath.

“Mommy!” Avery squeals, and I blink into focus as she points excitedly at the speaker. Our favorite song is on.

I raise the volume and grab a spatula from next to the stove.

“Underneath the starlight, starlight. There’s a magical feeling so right. It will steal your heart tonight…” I whip around, giving her the performance that makes her giggle endlessly.

“You can try to resist, try to hide from my kiss.” I leap towards her, stealing a kiss to her cheek. “…But you know, but you know that you… Can’t fight the moonlight.”

I continue singing at the top of my lungs, dancing to the Coyote Ugly anthem that I grew up on while Avery giggles and dances in her chair. She’s never seen the movie; all she knows is that when it comes on, we’re having a dance party.

I jump on my kitchen chair to pretend I’m on stage and Avery claps for me. “Deep in the dark, you’ll surrender your heart, but you know, but you know that you… Can’t fight the moonlight…”

I don’t know what draws my attention to the window as I sway my hips back and forth during my one-woman show, but directly out my side kitchen window is a single light illuminating from my neighbor’s garage.

And a silhouette next to his truck.

“You can’t fight it. It’s gonna get to your heart…” My voice trails off as I stare at the shoulder-width of someone who could only be facing this direction.

I can’t take my eyes off his shadowed form, and I’m still catching my breath when the light goes out, leaving his property in complete darkness.

Was he watching me?

Did I imagine that?