Page 105 of Shadowborne: Reckoning

“Bring the darkness into the light, Bren. Tell me.”

She took a deep breath, then locked eyes with me. “He… He gave me the look he always had when he wanted me. And I knew it,” she said sadly. My heart flinched, but I didn’t react. Let her keep going. “And even so… I felt nothing but revulsion,” she said, oddly, smiling. “He doesn’t have a grip on me, Donavyn. I didn’t think I was worried about that, but when I saw him alone and… I didn’t trust myself. I thought maybe my body would betray me. Or that I’d fall back into those lies about him not meaning to hurt me—that’s what I told myself for weeks. That he loved me and wanted me. But I was naïve. It wasn’t true. And when I saw him, faced him… I knew it. I knew what he was. I could have slit his throat for what he did to me. But you know what I wanted even more than that?”

“What?” I breathed.

“I wanted him to realize that I knew what a piece of shit he was. I wanted him to realize that he hadn’t seen what I could do—but that was his fault. And I think… I think he’s starting to. But even if he doesn’t, even if he still just sees a little farm slut—”

“Do not talk about yourself that way.”

“—it doesn’t matter, because I’m not. I felt it, Donavyn. I could touch him because I had to. And I hated it. But I did it anyway, because I had a job to do. It doesn’t matter if he knows what I’m worth. I can see it.”

“And me,” I growled. “I see you, Bren.”

She smiled. Her eyes shone with unshed tears, but she beamed. “I know. And then… then I told him what he was. I told him what I’d do to him if he touched any woman here against her will. I didn’t let him tell me I was wrong. I didn’t waver. I told him exactly what he was, and that even if he fooled other people, he didn’t fool me. And then I made him doubt himself and… God, it felt so good, Donavyn. I thought when I had to be here alone after leaving you that I’d be afraid. But I was ecstatic.”

Her tears spilled over, but I could feel the delight in her, the relief, the joy. They were ultimately happy tears—grieving what she’d been, the lies she’d believed, but no longer doubting herself for them.

“We’re going to get him, Donavyn,” she whispered. “Him and whoever’s working with him. We’re going to beat these assholes.”

“Yes, we are.” I growled, stroking her face and breathing easily for the first time since she’d been late to the banquet hall.

She went quiet for a moment, then met my eyes again. “Was I wrong to tell him all that, though?” she whispered. “It felt so right. The way to get him off balance and make him move. But I have thought about it while I was waiting and I realized… I gave something up that we can’t take back.”

I shook my head. “No, I agree. It was only a matter of time until he learned the truth. And now he’s motivated to send another message, which opens a door for us.”

“Would you tell me? I know you were worried about me with him. Would you tell me if I got it wrong? Because you shouldn’t be kind. I’m strong enough, Donavyn. I want to get this right. If I did the wrong thing, I need to know so I can choose differently next time—”

I shushed her, and kissed her, and shook my head.

“You did nothing wrong. You measured a situation, and you used it. I would have done the same in your shoes. Voski told me how well you did, giving him the warning that let him find a hiding spot—he might have been uncovered without you. No, Bren. You did right. You did well.”

Her sheer delight at my approval was beautiful, and humbling. How long had it been since I’d simply wanted to do right?

As I sat up and pulled her into my arms, carried her to the bedroom to love her again, I filed that question away for later. Because it felt important.

How long had it been since I’d sought advice for the simple goal of just wanting to be better?

I suddenly wished Kgosi was close enough to reach. But when Bren slipped into the blankets of our bed, then beckoned me to join her, I thanked God that I could put the conversation off, at least until I’d filled the gaping hole of need for her again.

36. Eye of the Storm

~ DONAVYN ~

I woke with a start, senses screaming, to a room in silence and the near-darkness of early dawn. Bren remained asleep, curled up with her knees high. The hair on my arms and the back of my neck stood up and my heart pounded in my ears.

Slowly, making no sound, I reached across under the blankets to slip a hand over Bren’s mouth in case she spoke and when she stopped breathing and went still, I sent, ‘Something’s wrong. Something woke me. I don’t know what yet. Get dressed and—’

We both heard the tiniest click in the sitting room.

I rolled off Bren sliding my hand under the pillow to grasp the sheathed knife I always left there, while she slipped out from under the covers without making a sound and hunched below the level of the bed.

I didn’t bother with clothing, but slipped the blade free and started towards our door, keeping myself flat to the wall, ears tingling, listening for any clue about where our intruder was in the room.

Bren popped up a moment later in nothing but her favorite shirt of mine that hung almost to her knees, the sleeves rolled high on her forearms, and a blade in her hand as well.

‘You get behind the door. If he comes for me when I open it, let it bounce off you so he doesn’t know you’re there. I’ll try to pull him in so you can get behind him, but otherwise you wait until I’ve got him engaged. Don’t reveal yourself until you can get that blade between his ribs.’

‘Got it.’